I wish to file for 82 divorces, please…

September 9, 2008

From Nigeria, a story about this guy with 86 wives. Not surprisingly, he’s having some legal problems.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should say I have financial interests in Nigeria. I’m helping a certain prince move large sums of cash and gold out of that country, thanks to a lucky e-mail opportunity. I expect to be very rich, very soon.

Anyway, local chiefs and Muslim leaders threatened to force the polygamist to leave the area unless he divorced all but FOUR of his wives, which after all is three more wives than he would be allowed in a lot of places. But now, a court has given him a reprieve until it decides whether he can be banished.

Meanwhile, a spokesman for the husband says he isn’t planning any divorces, and intends to marry even MORE wives! That sounds like one wacky place, and I’ll be very relieved when my cash is safely out of there!

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wives-0909-360.jpg
Different country, lots of wives: Three of King Mswati’s 13 wives arrive for the traditional Reed Dance at the royal palace in Swaziland August 31, 2008. Sub-Saharan Africa’s last absolute monarch was expected to choose his 14th wife. REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko

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24 comments

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One divorce was expensive enough for me. I’ve never seen a case where more than one wife got along, much less 86 wives. Personally I think he’s being a little greedy and should share with the rest of us guys.

Posted by Jim Lindley | Report as abusive

Questions pour down like rain. How did the powers that decide upon 4 being the maximum number of wives– not 3, not 5? I wonder if he ever lost track and proposed to a woman he already married. Talk about your awkward moments!
______

“Hey, Babe, what say we make it official and get married?”
“It’s our anniversary, Dear.”
“Oh.”
______

It is just a good thing this man is not a woman because, if he were, he’d be in the family way all the time. Apparently, he just can’t say “no.”

Posted by RLM | Report as abusive

Hahahah… well, in countries where women are more predominate than men, I can see why 86 women would do that. However, how could he keep them straight? How many times does he see each one? Is there some system?

What a CRAZY man…

Posted by Maggie | Report as abusive

I’m struggling to get a girlfriend and this guy has 86 wives???

Man, that’s 86 Moter-in-laws

Posted by Wayne | Report as abusive

Well, at least the house is clean and dinner is on the table! Plus, one out of 84 is bound to NOT have a headache.

Posted by Dayshiftbob | Report as abusive

I WOULD LOVE TO KHOW HOW MANY KIDS HE HAS AND WHAT HE GETS ON WELFARE {HA HA}

Posted by JAMES | Report as abusive

Imagine if they all cycle at the same time! There isn’t enough Jack Daniels for that poor guy!

Posted by DJBoca | Report as abusive

Seriously, every wife comes with a worthless brother-in-law and a nosey mother-in-law…why on Earth would you need 86 of them?

Posted by Lunatec | Report as abusive

Swaziland is in south africa, just around SA the country. NOT in sub-sahara.

Posted by Smart Ass | Report as abusive

In response to Maggie,
I think a large proportion of men would agree with me when I say he probably doesn’t try to keep them too straight and may infact ‘encourage’ spousal bonding… It would be a time-saver, and kinda hot…

Posted by Charlston | Report as abusive

The guy is 84. How can he even keep up with one wife?

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

The reason he would be allowed to keep 4 wives would be due to Islam. in Islamic culture, you are allowed 4 wives (even to this day!!) but still that would be a lot to manage.

Posted by Kaushal | Report as abusive

It’s a shame all the so called international media look for in Africa, is one odd or tragic story. There are many newsworthy and progressive activities going on in Nigeria you folks are not interested in. And for the sarcastic guy showing off his stupidity, your “lucky email opportunity”, most probably originated from your country, by your people. Most scammers pretend to be Nigerians, because it’s easier for them to hid among 150 million, than hide in the tiny miserable countries they come from. Most Nigerians are honest, hardworking, noble and enterprising.

Posted by AZ | Report as abusive

Smart Ass – Turns out you are not that smart after all. Swaziland is a country entirely bordered/land locked by South Africa (another country in Southern Africa…just in case you don’t know). Both Swaziland and South Africa fall within the region known as sub-saharan Africa.

Posted by jka | Report as abusive

@Smart Ass – not so smart after all. Swaziland and South Africa are 2 different countries, next to each other.

Posted by Lebone | Report as abusive

To all those who are asking why the man was asked to keep 4 wives; it is because Islam recommends that a man be married to one wife, but allows up to 4 as a maximum.

Posted by Wassim | Report as abusive

And under Islam, how many husbands can a woman have? And, when it is all said and done, why is that?

Posted by RLM | Report as abusive

Since the ratio of male to female births is roughly 1:1 it seems to me that this would leave 85 men without wives. With all those guys with no prospect of married life, and nothing to do, I would suspect that there would be higher crime rates in places which encourage/tolerate polygamy. I wonder if there’s been a study on that… off to google I go.

Posted by George | Report as abusive

For RLM – While more than one husband sounds like it would be a move towards equality for women in polygamous societies, why on earth would a woman punish herself with more than one boob tube watching, eats more than he weighs, rather hang out with his “boys” than his wife, whining man-child! Never! Could you imagine having your birhtday and anniversary dates forgotten 4 times a year instead of once?

Posted by Lu | Report as abusive

Hey AZ, did you miss the humor tag? This blog is a humorous site, not a serious news site. It is supposed to be funny. I think it is funny, but then I have a sense of humor.

Posted by Diane | Report as abusive

Lu,

I think the answer to my question actually resides in the (patriarchal) notion that in a marriage the woman is there to serve the needs of the man, rather than the other way around, and rather than the thought that each is there to serve the other’s needs. There appears to be no sense of equality, cooperation, and the like. At first blush, this seems like quite a different mindset from Western thought, but then again, perhaps many Western men would fit right in, eh?

Posted by RLM | Report as abusive

Holy moly. Thats a LOT of wives. O_o

Posted by Inu | Report as abusive

[...] A few weeks ago I had a very popular item about this guy in Nigeria who had 86 wives and was ordered to divorce all but four of them. You may recall it as I wish to file for 82 divorces, please. [...]

He must have one hell of a large bed.

Posted by Jon | Report as abusive