News, but not the serious kind
Caddy, give me my Molotov Cocktail!
Speak for yourself, italic font-using stranger. I just saw photos of an anti-government demonstrator practicing his GOLF PUTT! Excuse me? In my day, the other guys played golf, not the protesters. What’s happened to this world?
WIFE: Off to another day of protest, dear?
HUSBAND: Yes, as soon as the detailer finishes with my Jaguar.
WIFE: Don’t forget I’m hosting Junior League here tonight. Can you pick up some Dom Perignon?
HUSBAND: You bet, sweetie! The wine shop is right next to the place that makes my IMPEACH BUSH! signs. Kiss-kiss! Hey, don’t mess up my double-breasted blue blazer and bow tie!