Protecting the seat of government?

September 23, 2008

Blog Guy, my friend and I are debating which is the most elite military force on Earth. What would you say?

chairs-0919-160.jpgIt’s the legendary Ukraine Chair Patrol. In a country beset by furniture shortages, these troops are always on the move, ready to swoop in with ample seating so their officials don’t have to stand.

This awesome force can get a nice Ethan Allen grouping anywhere in Ukraine with an hours’ notice. For centuries, they’ve protected official foot stools and chairs.

Wow! When did they get their start?

During the Ottoman Empire. You really should have seen that one coming.

That’s it! I’m taking my italics and never coming back here!

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chairs-0919-360.jpgUkrainian soldiers carry chairs for officials during Ukraine’s military drill near Rivne, west of Kiev, September 18, 2008. REUTERS/Gleb Garanich

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20 comments

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Looks like the guy at the front with the poncho is their chairleader

*cringes*

Good one, Bandage. Wish I had thought of it. I guess it’s only a matter of time until somebody comments that this seems like a cushy job.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Hahahahahaha! See? Now I wish I had thought of THAT one! This is why they pay you Bob!

Pay? D’oh!

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Oh sit on it Robert!

These guys are clearly doing are a great job making sure their country doesn’t fall into a recline!

*grimace*

Posted by Seth Carroll | Report as abusive

Cushy job for some maybe, but wait until you see the guy behind the tree hauling the couch, ouch. My back hurts just thinking about it.

Posted by zanhel | Report as abusive

This is serious stuff! A few years ago this very unit helped plan a military coup because their leader was off his rocker.

Thanks, I’ll be here all week.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

If I get paid to leave comments on your blog, it stands to reason you should get paid to write the blog.

Posted by Whitecup | Report as abusive

I think we’re looking at it all wrong.

Maybe they just REALLY like musical chairs.

Posted by Seth Carroll | Report as abusive

Well, when it comes to things I’ve paid for… What?! I didn’t say anything! Who’s sayin’ stuff!

Good point, Seth. Or they could be going to one of those BYOC parties that are getting so popular.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

We went to a BYOC party this past weekend, the host did not stipulate that he was keeping all the chairs we bought with us. Could I rent this army to get our chairs back from our host?

Posted by Tony | Report as abusive

Chair Force?

Posted by sean | Report as abusive

You all should be caned for cracking wise with all of the chair jokes. This military unit is obviously practicing a “rear guard” action. The military has commands for that, you know:

PLATOON, take your SEATS! To the rear, MARCH!

When one gets to the bottom of it, the military forces of the world simply pamper officials too much. They should stop being such stoolies and force officials to hold their own ends up. That way, soldiers will no longer be the butts of so many chair jokes.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

uh? This blog stuff is really bottom of the worthless barrel. Why Reuters, why? How does this come close to being published on a professional news site?

Posted by m | Report as abusive

These soldiers are the elite “chairborne” rangers. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

M, I’m afraid we don’t recognize the informal interjection “uh.” This is a respectable, professional news site, after all….

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Must be a big company to have that many chairmen.

Posted by Steve | Report as abusive

Ukrainian soldiers practice their secret “Grandma’s dining room” formation.

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

Do you suppose Lehman et al will loan some of their elite chairmen to the Ukrainians. Oh, wait, there aren’t any elite chairmen on Wall Street. How could the US have sunk so low so that we can’t help others with the daunting task ahead of these troops.