With sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss:
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Do you like to text and drive?
Would you like to stay alive?
Driving while you write with thumb?
Holy crap! You’re really dumb!
In yet another sign of the approaching Apocalypse, California has become the latest state to find that its drivers actually need to be TOLD they aren’t allowed to text message while driving.
Unfortunately, this version of the law seems to have been watered down from the one I’ve proposed, where text messaging within six inches of a steering wheel would automatically trigger a rusty buzz saw which instantly decapitates the driver and rockets his flaming head through the sun roof.
Show how smart you are! Join the Oddly Enough blog network!
A naked cyclist sends a text message in Hyde Park before setting off on the World Naked Bike Ride in London June 9, 2007. REUTERS/James Boardman
Trackback
30 comments so far
Previous | 2 | 1 | Next
Talking about stupid warnings, there was one that appeared on a certain Japanese manufacturer’s models that warned the driver that ‘objects that appear in the mirror are actually behind you’. Who is that for? How did they pass their driving test? How can they, except by running for public office, afford such cars when their lack of intelligence would surely bar them from most jobs?
- Posted by Lloyd JThe fact that people need to be TOLD not to text, means that people REALLY shouldn’t be driving.
- Posted by SumomoJust remember, fifty percent of people are of below-average intelligence.
- Posted by Jon_BNow that I think of it, I wonder what warnings the manufacturer gives purchasers of these devices. Can’t you just see some texter’s estate suing the manufacturer because the manufacturer did not warn people not to text while driving?
Before you jump to any conclusion, let me tell you about my favorite manufacturer’s warning. On a shade device designed to be put in a car’s windshield to keep out the sun, one device had the following warning: “WARNING! Do NOT drive vehicle with Autoshade in windshield!”
- Posted by Dr. DollRegarding your comment on changes from insurers, I would hope they will lobby the auto industry for that rusty buzz saw device I mentioned in my blog post.
- Posted by Robert BaslerI’m not sure how effective the recent California law will be in removing texters from the road. In practical terms, how will an officer know that a person is texting? Of course, if the officer has probable cause to pull the driver over (for weaving, etc.), s/he may see the device, and phone records could prove use of the device while driving.
And, does the law allow an officer to stop a vehicle if the only offense is texting while driving? If the law has any teeth, it does.
If California is like most other states, what the law will do is make it easier for victims of accidents at the hands of texters to sue for civil damages. In most states, violation of a law can be negligence per se, which means the victim need not prove all the elements of negligence so as to establish liability.
Telephone records will be vital evidence in such cases.
One wonders what changes automobile insurers will make in their policies based upon these new laws.
- Posted by Dr. DollThe comments above that defend texting-while-driving would only go to show why the law has apparently become necessary. People tell themselves “I can handle it.”
Whether we’re talking about texting, drinking, or driving while half-asleep, *everyone* thinks they can handle it until they actually get in an accident.
That’s why studies had to be done for something that seemed obvious to so many of the rest of us. They go a long way to demonstrating that people *can’t* handle doing such tasks while driving without impairment. Thus, people who think they can handle texting-while-driving need to be told to “stop” by passing a law.
Of course, it *won’t* stop all such behavior, no more than laws against drunken driving stop *that*. But at least now police will have the power to pull such people off the streets if and when they’re caught.
- Posted by Mark Baker-Wrightejbman- Logan’s Run?! LOGAN’S RUN?! And you’re calling other people ‘oldsters’?
- Posted by BandageI would add one caveat: Any medical personnel who treat the gamers afterwards must have played 21,000 hours of video games prior to reaching age 21.
- Posted by Dr. DollIt might be fun to set up a remote stretch of mountainous road someplace where gamers ARE required to text and drive at the same time, but only if they’re going over 90 mph and there’s a snowstorm. My blog would get behind that.
- Posted by Robert Basler