How to get rich from inflation…

September 29, 2008

fall-airbag.jpg
We have a video report on a new airbag for the elderly to wear, which inflates instantly when it detects that they are falling.

This personal airbag is exciting technology, but I think it’s being wasted, what with just keeping old people from hurting themselves.

Yo dudes, check out MY cool ideas, which I’m patenting!

  • BOXERS: Your personal airbag detects a punch coming, and your opponent gets a glove-full of instant cushion!
  • CARTOON CHARACTERS: Your personal airbag detects a falling anvil, and you avoid painful squashing!
  • WOMEN: Wear it as a bra. It inflates when some guy is checking you out.
  • BULLFIGHTERS: Your airbag detects a charging bull and inflates, the sharp horns hit the bag, and…  Oh, wait. Maybe scratch that one.

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9 comments

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And I thought I was going to learn how to get rich from inflation… My bad.

Posted by Unions=Organized Apathy | Report as abusive

You did learn how to get rich from inflation. There’s still time to get a patent out on any of those inflation-based suggestions!

…Well, except the bull-fighting one. I mean, you *could* but why bother?

Posted by Ikku | Report as abusive

yeah i thought i was going to learn how to get rich form inflation lol

Posted by Daniela | Report as abusive

Bob, how dare you make fun of this much-needed invention for the veritable burgeoning army of pensioners; besides these things are the way of the future, I think I recall seeing them on an old Dr. Who Episode…

Good stuff Bob, keep it up.

Posted by Golden Ace | Report as abusive

I think the best use for this technology (today), would be for wall street & bank executives to wear under their suits so when the fling themselves out of the windows..

Could also be used to protect people who invested their “nest egg” into real estate and literally lost the farm…

Posted by Mike | Report as abusive

you would get punched in the balls and watch cartoons

Posted by Jehovah | Report as abusive

Great, just what I need: another reason for guys to not look me in the eyes when I talk to them.

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

Let us not be sexist. An inflatable could also be used by men when women check out their chests and/or backsides. Women goggle men, too, you know! Women, though, seem to be more adept at goggleing without being goggle-eyed. They are much more subtle, unless the man catches the woman off guard. Off course, much of the satisfaction men get from geing goggled would be lost if they knew it was predicated upon a hoax.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

On the bright side, if you’re not wearing the boxers and you catch a punch, it will be a soft fall when your airbag vest inflates.

Posted by Seth Carroll | Report as abusive