Who’s your designer, babe? Eddie Bauer?

October 10, 2008

Note to fashion design staff: Every so often we need to remember that haute couture is about raw animal sexuality. It’s about a woman feeling desirable, about giving her the confidence to think, ”Hey, I’ll never look HOTTER than I do tonight!”

fashion-gumby-160.jpgTake the Pierre Cardin number shown here. When this woman shows up in this sizzling outfit,  jaws will drop and every man in the room will want to take her home.

“So, gorgeous! What’s YOUR name?”

“They call me Gumby, big boy!”

“Well, Gumby, do you know how turned on I get when I see a chick in a blue sleeping bag with slits for her face and arms?”

“Yeah, you and every OTHER dude! Get in line! **

**  A simulated conversation not based on real events.

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fashion-gumby-300.jpgA model presents a creation by French designer Pierre Cardin as part of his 2009 spring/summer and autumn/winter ready-to-wear fashion collection in Theoule-sur-Mer, southern France, October 6, 2008. REUTERS/Eric Gaillard

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23 comments

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She looks like she outgrew her tent, and so decided to wear it.

Posted by Carib | Report as abusive

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da……

Posted by Stephanie | Report as abusive

Definitely doesn’t conform with company dress policy :D

Posted by Cherie | Report as abusive

Washboard abs is one thing but this? Well, I guess as long as it makes shim happy…

She looks like a Tele-tubby. She’s just missing the TV screen in her belly.

Posted by Horse N. Buggy | Report as abusive

She reminds me of the chap who jumped off the Eiffel tower, believing his winged suit would enable him to glide safely to the ground. He achieved terminal velocity in front of horrified thousands.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Yes, he went down like free beer — just like the equities markets. Dow went down this a.m. more than 600 points in 10 minutes.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

It should be made a dress to mark the worst financial meltdown in recent years

Posted by Jose | Report as abusive

KiteWoman’s superhero career was cut short yesterday when she was caught in a powerful thermal in southern France. Authorities are not quite sure where she landed, but rescue searchers are keeping an eye on nearby trees….

Posted by K | Report as abusive

It’s pizza the hut!

Posted by Normal Dan | Report as abusive

This garment seems to be sort of the opposite of a “coat of arms.”

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

pierre cardin is a genius, but i must say, i’m not completely taken with this outfit. i prefer his hat-with-eyes to the tent-sweater.

This nouveau combination strait-jacket and economy padded room is both thrifty and sporty, but it appears to have a serious design flaw.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

looks like grimace’s in-bred cousin

Posted by becca ma | Report as abusive

A must for anyone wishing to mate with Grimmus from McDonalds.

Posted by McPhunny | Report as abusive

What the hell is sticking up at top? I’d take it and hang her from my tree this year she’d make a hot ornament for the holidays.

Posted by SLug800 | Report as abusive

Omar the Tent maker must have bought into that “Global Warming” stuff.

Posted by Insain1 | Report as abusive

It’s a blue Christmas tree.

All she needs is a little porcelain Elvis to wear on top of her head.

Posted by Charlene | Report as abusive

I’m pretty sure he stole that design from “Air Mattresses inc”
On another note, to all the fat people who are whining about the fact that only skinny models are really ever seen in the fashion world, here is the perfect opportunity for you to purchase designer clothes that you might actually look decent in! :)

Posted by Jess | Report as abusive

While this outfit is certainly odd and amusing, that’s two fashion based oddly enoughs in less than a week. What a pity.

You say: “A simulated conversation not based on real events.”?

When do you actualy have real conversations? An actual interview or two would be more entertaining. You could ask her about any number of things, like the incomparable sensation of breezy legs and sweltering torso. Ahh, but now I’m being silly like you…see what you are drawing me into?

Posted by Sully | Report as abusive

Reminds me of Beavis and Butthead…”I am cornholio!”

Posted by Chrisinsocalif | Report as abusive

Am I the only one that who thinks it looks like a condom?

Posted by Christa | Report as abusive

I wonder if it comes in a wrapper, and should be worn when one feels a bit of stiffness coming on….

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive