Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
So I should STRADDLE this thingie?
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To the Commander of Russian Cavalry:
Comrade, I’m not going to say I told you so, but it was your idea to cut out the training budget for our new cavalry recruits. “How hard can it be to figure it out themselves?” you said.
Well, here is your answer. The new horsemen put on a show this weekend, and it was pretty pathetic.
The riders were pelted by vodka bottles tossed from the parents’ seats, and most of the horses were laughing so hard they couldn’t make it back to the stables!
Surely we could at least afford to show new recruits a fricking stick-figure DRAWING of a guy sitting on a horse? Or maybe buy an old Gene Autry DVD to give them a clue?
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A police officer performs acrobatics on horseback during a presentation to foreign diplomats in Moscow October 25, 2008. REUTERS/Alexander Natruskin
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Don’t let television execs see this, we’ll all be force-fed Dancing With The Horses next season.
The show will be called “The Cossacks.” It’ll be about this widowed father and three sons who run this ranch in the Ukraine who . . . . No, wait . . . it’ll be called “The Cossack,” and it’ll be about this rural horse-riding hayseed police officer who is transferred to Moscow to . . . . Oh, Bugger!
No, I’ve got it, it’ll be about this man who has this talking horse . . . no, zebra . . . no, alpaca (that’s the ticket!) that lives in the man’s garage and . . . .
Fresh from their victory in Georgia, these horsemen show the manuevers that will allow for Russian military might while reducing their overall carbon footprint…
And to ensure the horses actually reduce the carbon footprint, they will be fed only high-fibre, non-gas-producing grass. And so will the riders, of course!