51 Ways to Leave Your Lover…

October 27, 2008

Congratulations, it’s your wedding day!

Sure, as the groom, you may have cold feet, it’s only natural. Like maybe you’re afraid to take the plunge because oh, let’s just say for instance you remembered you’re already married to someone else.

So on the morning of the wedding you go talk reasonably to your bride-to-be, or her parents, or your clergyman, right?

Or maybe, like the brilliant, take-charge groom in our story, you just set your hotel on fire so there can’t be a wedding…

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Above: A couple holds their wedding ceremony inside an ice chapel earlier this year in Japan. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao

Below: A bride in traditional Japanese wedding attire poses for photos with her groom in Japan earlier this year. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

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My wedding was very formal. My father-in-law had a white shotgun.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Hmmm, Dr. Doll had a shot gun wedding, somehow I am not surprised.

Posted by Diane | Report as abusive

Yes, Diane, I remember it like it was yesterday. Our three children, with one on the way, my cousin-in-law Billy Ray was my best man. Wait a minute, that WAS yesterday!

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

It would be really nice if the pictures on these stories sized to full when you clicked them… What’s the point of having them retain the same size as the thumbnail? Why even make them clickable, then?

Posted by PAUL | Report as abusive

Robert —

My wife and I spent our honeymoon (in May) in Alaska (months before Sarah Palin made it hip). Being who I am, I begged her to stay in the ice hotel just north of Fairbanks, but it had been closed by the board of health and for a hilarious reason — there was no sprinkler system, and that was a violation.

We’re lucky. You stay at an ice hotel, and you’re bound to get your butt stuck on an ice toilet seat. That’s no way to start a marriage.

Posted by Buck Wolf | Report as abusive

The good thing is he went with that option, his first idea was to put a slip and slide down the aisle and run and slide tackle her when she came in…

Posted by Ben | Report as abusive

I suppose I should set the record straight. My wife and I met in college, where she was attracted to me because I was not only a 4.00 student (She found this out from a faculty member)but an athlete with a 4.00. She proposed (Yes, that’s right.), and I said yes because she was a beautiful, smart woman with similar values. As for the rest of the women at our college, if they were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Hey, Dr. Doll, isn’t that a Dorothy Parker line? Did she steal it from you?

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

I believe it is Dorothy Parker. I couldn’t remember whose it was. Isn’t she also the author who, when lonely, wrote “Men” on the outside of her office door?

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Which wedding should I talk about, the first, second or the one that’s coming up…. Hmmmm

Posted by Dawn | Report as abusive

Dr. Doll, I am not at all surprised that your wife proposed to you, or that you had a 4.0 GPA. You have a wonderful sense of humor and I always enjoy reading your insightful and comic thoughts and comments.

Posted by Diane | Report as abusive