Put your hands where Santa can see ‘em, kid!

November 20, 2008

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the block,
Not a creature was stirring, thanks to my Glock

Blog Guy, considering the state of the world these days, do you think Santa Claus is safe? He’d make a pretty attractive target for militants.

You wouldn’t even believe the security measures in place. These days, Santa has his own private army. They wear Christmas hats and red straps on their rifles.

And they’re good?

No, they’re bad. Santa himself made a list and checked it twice, and he put together his security team with the naughtiest goons he could find.

Gosh, I gotta say those scenes don’t look very Christmas-like.

Well, it’s all relative. The North Pole is is a glittering, festive winter wonderland, compared with Bethlehem these days.

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A government soldier walks through the looted village of Kayna after a day of fighting in eastern Congo, November 18, 2008. REUTERS/Finbarr O’Reilly

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You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better watch out,
I’m telling you why . . .
Santa Clause is running this town!
Santa Clause is running this town!

Santa Clause is running this town!

Oh the battle outside is frightful
and the weapon’s fire ain’t delightful
but since we’ve no place to go
let the IEDs and pipe bombs blow!

When we finally say ‘cease fire’,
And all the dead people leave all their junk,
we can burn the up the dead in a pyre,
and wear all their stuff like a punk.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev’rywhere you go;
There’s a mine beneath your toes,
And a machine gun up your nose
With the sites all aglow.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
Guns in every store,
But the prettiest site to see is the bomb that will be
At your own front door!

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Is that the same guy that was wearing the wig a few days ago?

Posted by Jill | Report as abusive

Jill’s not rhyming,
Jill’s not rhyming…

Posted by naz | Report as abusive

hmmm…i always prefered gunning you down

Posted by steven | Report as abusive

Deck the halls with blood stained trinkets…

Posted by Santu | Report as abusive