What’s the hurry, Santa?

December 8, 2008

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
As Santa ran inside to empty his bladder!

Oh, get over it. We’re all adults here, right?

When you take a typical elderly gentleman, give him 200 million glasses of milk and then make him work all night, it isn’t just the Christmas bells that are going to go tinkle!

This is why really, really smart little boys and girls, who want a really, really jolly Santa, hang a map to their family bathroom over the fireplace.

And, truth be told, this is why the number one top person on Santa’s NAUGHTY list is any photographer who snaps him doing this.

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A man dressed as Saint Nicholas uses a restroom during a break at a Christmas market in Hamburg, Germany, December 6, 2008. REUTERS/ Christian Charisius

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Dude…I’m gonna have freaking nightmares about this picture.

It’s Santa Claus! No! It’s the Pope! No! It’s one of the creatures from The Village!

I dare you to tap him on the shoulder.

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Well, you know, you’d probably have nightmares anyway.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

[…] is Santa in a […]

Posted by Post of Lists | Lycanthropia | Report as abusive

There you go again, Robert… Another childhood dream gone pscchhtttt! Or is that pfffftt?

Posted by M | Report as abusive

The map to the Batcave is a good idea. I would have little Timmy add a note to the map, as follows:

Dear Santa,
Mummy and Papa aim to please this Christmas. You aim, too, please.

PS. Mummy sez if you leave the seet up like last yeer, it will be a three leg-ed race to the seem-stress. You to git the seet of yoor Santa soot soed up and Mummzie to git her foot out of it!

PPS. And she wil go Ho Ho Ho all the way!


Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Where is it acceptable to take photo’s in a public rest room?

Posted by John (get it?) | Report as abusive

Hey I’m cool with the fact that Santa has to pee, my problem would be if he reached over and tapped me on the foot while I peed next to him. Now that’s a life long scar.

Posted by J | Report as abusive