News, but not the serious kind
Behold, the face of pure evil!
Back in better days, if there was one thing on Earth that was safe, it was a snow globe. As long as you didn’t smash it with a ball-peen hammer, stuff the shards of glass into your mouth and chew them, you were fine.
Those days are gone. About 7,000 jumbo snow globes have just been recalled by the Hallmark Cards folks.
How were they able to engineer danger into the simple concept of a snow globe? I’m glad you asked. It turns out if you put their globes near sunlight and have combustible materials close by, a fire could start.
I’m not making this up. There have already been two reports of this happening.
So if you bought one, until you get a chance to return it, close all your curtains, cover it with duct tape and thick wool army blankets, and take all your piles of gasoline-soaked cotton as far away as possible. Merry Christmas!
A jumbo-sized snow globe from Hallmark is shown in this handout photo. REUTERS/U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission/Handout