Behold, the face of pure evil!

December 24, 2008

Back in better days, if there was one thing on Earth that was safe, it was a snow globe. As long as you didn’t smash it with a ball-peen hammer, stuff the shards of glass into your mouth and chew them, you were fine.

Those days are gone. About 7,000 jumbo snow globes have just been recalled by  the Hallmark Cards folks.

How were they able to engineer danger into the simple concept of a snow globe?  I’m glad you asked. It turns out if you put their globes near sunlight and have combustible materials close by, a fire could start.

I’m not making this up. There have already been two reports of this happening.

So if you bought one, until you get a chance to return it, close all your curtains, cover it with duct tape and thick wool army blankets, and take all your piles of gasoline-soaked cotton as far away as possible. Merry Christmas!

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A jumbo-sized snow globe from Hallmark is shown in this handout photo. REUTERS/U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission/Handout

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5 comments

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Bob you have to be making this up.

But as always a good read.

GA

Posted by Golden Ace | Report as abusive

Does anyone else see the correlation between current trends of today as opposed to, let’s say, 1950? I mean, it’s gotta mean something when engineers are getting dumber. These people we rely on to bring us tough, durable, appeasing and affordable products, and they can’t even get something like a snowglobe right. I really think it’s high time we changed our thoughts on the two-income family thing and start focusing on our future, or we won’t have one.

Posted by xXxNoMaDxXx | Report as abusive

One ugly globe, it may explode….
Is it normal common sense that placing anything made of curved glass in sunlight just might cause a fire?

Maybe, maybe not. Still, we all remember the kid next door that would fry ants with a magnifying glass…. then eat them…

Won’t be long before they ingestate a law against going outside: “You might shoot your eye out! Or even an meteor would can land on your face and little greed men will shoot your eye out for free! Stay indoors where it is safe! That is all!”

By the way, Merry Christmas! Put your hands over your head and step away from the tree….

Who would ever think that Hallmark would have WMDs?

Posted by Some guy named Tim | Report as abusive