Snarley and Me…

December 29, 2008

Dear Auntie Charlene,

I hope your Christmas was as nice as ours. Thank you SO much for the thick padded pajamas, which will really help keep me warm through these cold Miami nights.

And thanks, too, for the dog you sent for the kids. Imagine our surprise when we opened that big crate!

How the children laughed and laughed when Rex smelled those t-bones you sewed into my jammies!

Eventually, officers had to come and drag Rex away from me, and they were pretty impressed by how quickly we had bonded.

Auntie, I have sent you a belated Christmas present, from a place down here called the Everglades. It will come in a 12-foot-long box, and you should open it alone in a small dark room. Enjoy!

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Indian army soldier is attacked by a dog as part of an exercise during an exhibition at Akhnoor, India, December 27, 2008. REUTERS/Amit Gupta

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You don’t need a 12 ft long box for those pythons down there. You can coil them up in a square box.

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

Fair point, but coiling doesn’t work well when you’re sending a crocodile….

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

This is really a new sport in India. It’s called “Hurl the Shepherd” and the winner is the person that can throw the dog the farthest. This picture, though, shows an amateur player who, instead of hurling the dog away, was himself hurl down by the dog. Which is, by the way, one of the hazards involved in the game.

Posted by M | Report as abusive

Well… I think Robert is right, but I clearly would not like to try and coil a croc myself…

Posted by M | Report as abusive

You threw me for a minute by changing the name for this post. Nice move, though. BY THE WAY the python thing was a joke.

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

Ok, this is a vertically oriented Michelin man with a birdcage on his head and a german shepherd hanging off his arm.

Now, I have no problem with a person’s directional orientation but I’m not sure the dog’s choice is being fairly considered as an outfit accessory.

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

Thanks, Tim – I was pretty sure it was a joke, but you never know. I get three or four coiled pythons delivered here from readers each week…

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Have you people not seen the ads for the Croc Coiler on late night TV? It coils all your crocs and large reptiles into an easily stored and space saving round shape. If you order now they will include a monitor lizard adaptor for free!! Anyway, isn’t it alligators in Florida and not crocodiles?

Posted by Eric H | Report as abusive

Eric, how can you mention the Croc Coiler and now give the toll free number. I have done google search and haven’t found it. Please post phone number asap. I have a former boss I would love to send one to. Also, yes they have both alligators and crocodiles in Everglades.

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

Once upon a time, recently, actually, there were essentially nothing but alligators in the southern US. The American Crocodile (Crocodylus acutus)was declared an endangered species some 40 years ago and now has a thriving population of around 1000 animals. So your grade school teacher was wrong when she told you only alligators lived in Florida. She was almost right.

So get your credit card ready and call 1-800-543-6685 and send Robert the reptile of your choice: a hooded cobra, a Western Diamondback, or a coral snake. None of these are susceptible to the Croc Coiler so it should be an entertaining experience for him.

Posted by gwmc | Report as abusive

Thanks for the clarification on the crocs in Florida Tim. It was one of those things that couldn’t remember if there were or there weren’t. Anyway, I did not write down the number for the Croc Coiler as I live in Maine and we have little use for a Croc Coiler here on the farm. The Moose Manager has come in real handy, it files and manages all of your large woodland creatures a in neat and easily accessible holder.
Don’t be fooled by GWMC about snakes not being coiled by the Croc Coiler. It comes with many reptile adaptors to meet all your coiling needs.

Wow this is really silly, but considering the rest of the news these days I hope Oddly Enough stays around as venue for silliness.

Posted by Eric H | Report as abusive

BACON!!!!! I smell bacon! Bacon-bacon-bacon-bacon-bacon-bacon-baco n!!!!

Posted by bob | Report as abusive