Another blitz, Blitzen!

December 30, 2008

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When all of a sudden I said, “What the hell?”
At the sound of a landing artillery shell!

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
And quickly I spotted the source of the fuss,
It was Santa Claus firing a cannon at us!

He laughed like a nutjob and continued his work,
And aiming again, gave his lanyard a jerk,
Then I heard jolly Santa barking an order,
And the reindeer rolled up with a Howitzer Mortar…

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And they figured the angle for a small guided missile,
But I heard him explain, as he cackled and cursed, 
“It’s more fun to knock all the chimneys down first!!!”

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Father Frost, the Russian equivalent of Santa, fires a cannon during welcoming ceremony at Peter and Pawel Fortress in St. Petersburg, December 27, 2008. REUTERS/ Alexander Demianchuk

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“So pull this right here?”

“Yeah, go ahead and give that a pull. You’ll see it’s more fun than a Christmas cracker!”

“Ok then. If this is another one of those ‘pull my finger’ jo- OH! OH MY! I haven’t had that happen since Mrs. Claus and I became affianced!”

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

In a bid for world domination, Santa launched an offensive attack on the World Holiday Headquarters. The New Year’s baby was unharmed in the attack, thanks largely to Cupid’s quick thinking. However, only the feet of the Easter Bunny were recovered. Memorial keychains are being made at this time.

Posted by K | Report as abusive

The shell rose and rose with a mind of its own,
its tail glowing bright as a torch.
And to think Sarah Palin saw the whole thing
from a perch on her Wassila porch!

Posted by John C Abell | Report as abusive

“Take that, you morons! That ought to teach you to leave the fireplace lit over Christmas night! There, take some fire yourselves!”

Posted by M | Report as abusive