Give me your lunch money, sir!

January 28, 2009

A Mr. Johnson, from Kearney, New Jersey, writes:

“Bob, I know you have access to private databases, and I wonder if you can help me find somebody.

“When I was in gradeschool there was this class dork. His mother used to dress him in his dad’s old hat and a big scarf, and she’d put him in a stupid coat that didn’t fasten right.

“We used to take his lunch money every day. Can you find him for me? Times are hard, and I could use that money again.”

Well, Mr. Johnson, there’s certainly nothing I enjoy more than helping the school bully.

I tracked your dork to Fashion Week in Paris, where he works as a model. I’m sure he’d love to have a sentimental class reunion with you.

By the way, he now has a karate black belt, and a license to kill. Enjoy.

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A model displays a creation from German-born Paris-based designer Tillmann Lauterbach as part of his Fall/Winter 2009/10 men’s collections during Paris Fashion Week January 24, 2009. REUTERS/Benoit Tessier

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Ah! Early American Mental Institution! I bring out that ensemble myself on Saturday mornings as I’m preparing my first cup of coffee…

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

Isn’t this the way Sinead O’Connor used to dress before she decided to become just another Telly Savalas look-a-like?

Posted by Stuffy | Report as abusive

Actually, this one makes me think of Boy George back in 1983?

Posted by brianbigel | Report as abusive