Climbing the career ladder one slice at a time

January 30, 2009

I’m getting e-mails from recent grads asking for career advice. They should start with my previous posts, but I do have some new tips, as well.

These photos illustrate some common mistakes made by grads who jump at the first job.

Please remember two of Bob’s career rules:

1. A good job will not involve anything squirting out of your eyes except maybe a contact lens. Certainly not milk, as seen here. Milk is meant to squirt out your nose, when you see something funny.

2. A good job will not generally involve a pole with sharp blades attached. Think of it this way: If there is some chance that your fingers will reach the ground before the rest of you, avoid the job. Unless you majored in Film Studies.

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A performer squirts milk through his eyes during a performance to celebrate Chinese New Year in Beijing, January 29, 2009. REUTERS/ Christina Hu

An acrobat hangs from a pole with blades during a performance to celebrate Chinese New Year at an amusement park in Beijing, January 28, 2009. REUTERS/ Reinhard Krause

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Oh? Oh! Now I see! I thought that guy was catching a stream of unidentifiable fluid IN his eye. Now why would you squirt milk. I’d squirt a potent combo of concentrated HCl and H2SO4 to burn anything in sight (haha, I crack me up).
But wouldn’t my eyes burn out first? Think it through dumb-ass. This is just like your CFC bodyspray idea; see where that got you!

Posted by naz | Report as abusive

OMG, Naz, that was hilarious. 😀

Posted by exasperated4 | Report as abusive

Wow, is he actually missing the fingers on his left hand, or is it a) a strange angle, b) photoshopped out for humor? :p

Posted by Torienne | Report as abusive

I never photoshop pix in my blog. I notised the same thing about his hand. I presume they were all sliced off in the line of work, but maybe he’s just clenching…

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Nice timing there, Bob. I have been asked to teach a class called “Optional Body Functions” at the local university. And this will come in very handy. Anyone have any other ideas?

Posted by Dr. Doll | Report as abusive

Ha!! That’s real milk, i was thinking why is milk…and my answer is: milk is white and visual for audience. Think I should ask him, maybe it’s just milk tastes better…

Posted by Christina Hu | Report as abusive

[…] Arts majors …. I feel your pain, but we must restrain ourselves from doing things like this for jobs. * Have Super Bowl Fever? Learn all about the art of its graphic design, and how the logos […]

Posted by mental_floss Blog » The Weekend Links | Report as abusive