News, but not the serious kind
I LOVE a man with a slick smile!
I just don’t know how the Oscars can turn a blind eye, year after year.
For my money, the best actress award should go to these chicks who manage to look like they really want to be hanging onto the greasy-mouthed guy who ate the most chicken wings in the Wing Bowl.
You can’t learn that kind of acting in drama school. Behind thin smiles, these women are praying for a way to flee when the winner’s 203 masticated wings reverse direction and head north.
You can already see chewed bits of poultry flesh, oozing past his lard-lubricated lips.
Can I borrow some dental floss, gals? Squeeze in close. Big hug! Hey, you hear a rumbling noise?
Wing Bowl champion John “Super Squibb” Squibb celebrates after winning the 17th annual chicken wing eating contest in Philadelphia, January 30, 2009. REUTERS/Tim Shaffer