You left the Football in the restaurant, Michelle?

February 16, 2009

Blog Guy, I saw a picture of the President and Michelle Obama out on the town on Valentine’s Day, and she was carrying a brown paper bag. What would the first lady be doing with a bag?

This is very sensitive, so don’t tell anybody else, but you know the so-called “Nuclear Football” the President always has with him in case he gets mad and wants to nuke some country?

Sure. Everybody has heard of that.

Well, they carry that around in a brown paper bag, and sometimes he lets Michelle hold it so his hands are free to wave and smoke and stuff.

Wow! I had no idea!

Exactly. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Sometimes the President lets his daughters carry it around, too, because it’s a pretty neat gizmo.

The girls? I have to say that makes me nervous.

Don’t worry. The girls have been warned not to press that shiny red button.

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President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama depart “Table 52″ restaurant after enjoying a Valentine’s Day dinner together in Chicago, February 14, 2009. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

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I’m sure the portions were way too big and they couldn’t eat everything, so they got a take home box, with its own nifty bag. They are thrifty. I LIKE that in a first couple! Why waste food?!

Posted by Dee | Report as abusive

Thanks, Dee, but I like my explanation better.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

In Chicago a brown bag usually means money is being exchanged.

Posted by Rick | Report as abusive

you actually get paid to write this junk?

Posted by matt | Report as abusive

I like bob and rick’s explanations better.

Posted by Golden Ace | Report as abusive

Hey Matt. Yep. Cool, huh?

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

There’s a military guy whose job it is to carry the “football” – the president doesn’t have to carry that himself – seriously – did you ever see any of the previous prez carrying it?

Posted by Rose | Report as abusive

I’m taking a wild leap here, but maybe, just maybe, mom and dad were bringing home some dessert for their two little sweeties. Why are we having this discussion, it’s very silly.

Posted by marla | Report as abusive

Just wondering what’s inside the brown paper bag.

Posted by Ilyn | Report as abusive

with the recession and economic downturn, i would say that the paper bag is the latest Coach handbag and Michelle Obama is doing her part to reduce, reuse, and recycle whilst still maintaining fashionable.

Posted by christine | Report as abusive

you know I always wondered why it’s a big red button… it’s like placing temptation in front of you…

I’ve also always wondered why people think this stuff is actually serious…

Posted by steven | Report as abusive


Posted by Wonderboy | Report as abusive

Maybe, Barak brought a gift to the first lady, and didn’t actually want to use a branded bag! Why would “Table 52″ put what is left over in a brown bag? They have their own branded bag, Dee!!

Robert, it is a gift from the president to his lovely wife, sure about it!

Posted by Faisal | Report as abusive

I’ve had it upto here hearing prejudiced people who take one look at a brown bag and assume without any reasonable grounds there has to be something “in” it. Hello, you fools, “maybe” it’s just a brown bag. Have you thought of that? Why can’t a brown bag simply be a brown bag? Some folk like to have a brown bag with them, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something “in” it, or they’re “carrying” something.

It makes me sick!

Posted by naz | Report as abusive

Have we become a culture so self absorbed and illiterate that we have to rage against innocuous drivel on a chat board?

Those of you taking umbrage over any of this should get a life.

On the other hand, where would the amusement be in that for the rest of us.

Posted by steveo | Report as abusive

I’m entirely outraged! Why do you insist on referring to it as a “brown” bag? Are you a racist?? Anyone can see in the last photo that it is actually a sepia toned bag with an irredescent sheen!!!
Pfft! I suppose if this had been last month, and a photo of then-President Bush and his wife Laura, you would have been postulating all about a “white bag, white bag, white bag”!!!!???

Posted by Gigi | Report as abusive

Okay, so the post was sort-of bizarre.
the comments are just absurd.
Basler, all envy for your job!

Posted by afshan | Report as abusive

Does that “Nuclear Football” really exists?


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Posted by UmNome | Report as abusive

The president must have a really strong arm to through a nuclear football.

Posted by John | Report as abusive