Hey kid, welcome to Stupidville!

February 25, 2009

I know a lot of you young readers come here for tips on jobs, and I have just become aware of a new career path which I simply cannot recommend.

It turns out, wildlife managers are seeing if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighborhoods by taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their “homing” ability. I am not making this up.

Kids, if you’re at work and you find yourself sticking a magnet to the head of a toothy reptile with packing tape, maybe you should redo your résumé.

The grads I know who have tried this job say there are serious drawbacks. If you don’t believe me, just contact “Stumpy,” “Lefty,” “Hopalong,” “Elbow Willy” and “Scalpless Sutton.”

Of course, as always, if you majored in Creative Writing or Film Studies, you should ignore this advice. Croc-taping could be just what you’ve been looking for.

Eat your lima beans and join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Actual crocodile magnet photos courtesy of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission

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This crocodile’s sense of direction is not affected by the magnet, he’s too embarassed to go home.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

Can this magnet be adapted for use on humans ? (perhaps my wife)

Posted by Married Man | Report as abusive

Perhaps we could tape your wife to a crocodile?

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

Good idea, Bill. And then as she disappears into the swamp, Married Man could say, “See you later, alligator!” Or, you know, something like that.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

i hear, Married Man’s wife holler, “In a while, crocodile!” at him.

Posted by jammygrl08 | Report as abusive

You know…I graduated with a BFA in Creative Writing. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not necessarily a dead-end major. I have been quite successful, finding a job in my field within a few months of graduating and outlasting several of my peers through layoffs.

I seem to always pick the jobs people make fun of…during school when we had people talk to us about resumes and cover letters, they would always say “Now, if you are a manager at Dairy Queen, you should probably not put that on your resume.” And I was a manager at DQ for all 4 years of college!

BTW, I’m not complaining…..just saying…

Posted by Creative Writing Graduate | Report as abusive

Thanks for that information, Creative Writing Graduate. Relativity to crocodile thread?

Also, ‘I seem always to pick…” would not split your infinitive.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

Bill, obviously Creative Writer is just writing creatively. ;-p

Posted by Jess | Report as abusive

I am a Film Studies major… Where can I get an application?

Posted by Ando | Report as abusive

Hey stupid it’s an alligator not a crocodile

Posted by DB | Report as abusive

“Mummy, mummy, can WE go to Stupidville?”

Posted by naz | Report as abusive


Creative Writing major was mentioned in the article, I thought I would defend the major.

Oh…and no one cares about split infinitives, unless they are speaking Latin. Way to be pedantic.

Posted by Creative Writing Graduate | Report as abusive

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!
I promise to never again split an infinitive.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

Et tu Brute?
Hey even engineers know how to write!
BTW – if magnets work so well, why the tape? You’d think a tranq dart would do the trick, from a LONG way away. But hey, I’m sure there’s a good reason. The film guys probably had a roll of gaffe tape in their pocket.

Posted by Kong | Report as abusive

“Hey even engineers know how to write!”

Not really. (English Major)

Posted by Chris | Report as abusive

[…] go on – try it! * Flossy friend Robert Basler has written some hilarious crocodile-related career advice for your consideration. Robert, thanks for the Creative Writing / Film major shout out. It makes me […]

Posted by mental_floss Blog » The Weekend Links | Report as abusive

[…] SCOTCH TAPE, CROCODILES, MAGNETS: Yes, you read that correctly. Amazingly, this is a growing field for young people, but don’t […]

Posted by Ten jobs you’ll avoid if you’re smart « Read NEWS | Report as abusive