You did WHAT in the overhead bin?

February 27, 2009

After paying for their aisle seat, blanket, food and a cocktail, air travelers may need to set aside a little cash for… well, you know…

There’s no delicate way to put this. The chief executive of Europe’s largest budget carrier said today that Ryanair might start charging passengers for using the toilet while flying.

An airline spokesman quickly explained that boss Michael O’Leary sometimes makes things up on the spot. Here is O’Leary’s photo, so you can decide for yourself whether he seems like the type to demand money for a bodily function.

Anyhow, I wouldn’t worry. The lavatory isn’t the only usable space on a plane, if you catch my drift. You’ve got large overhead bins, you’ve got your seatmate’s carry-on luggage when they’re not looking…

Heck, you’ve even got those big heavy metal exit doors with the levers on them. How hard can it be to open those, when you really need to go?

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Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O’Leary in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/ Susana Vera

Ryanair jet in a 2004 file photo. REUTERS/ Yves Herman/Files

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19 comments

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You know what a better idea would be? An X-ray image of the intestines for every passenger before boarding. THEN, the airline could just charge a fee for the extra “carry-on” where applicable!

Ain’t I smart?

Posted by K | Report as abusive

They’re going to be called Cryin’Air if they try to enforce this crap…

K, you are BRILLIANT!

If Ryanair decides to start charging for toilet use, then we should send colonoscopy prep kits to everybody the day before they fly. That way, not a single passenger will have anything to get rid of in their intestines, and Ryanair will just be maintaining expensive lavatories with no return on their investment.

We need to start a movement, so to speak.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Alas, Bob, you know that they’d simply find something else to charge extra for. The next thing you know, people will be charged an oxygen fee based on lung capacity.

Teleportation would be so much more cost efficient. Of course, you’d have to worry about that whole mutant rearranging of molecules like in Star Trek…or complete and utter insanity like in that Stephen King short story “The Jaunt”.

Hmm…hard to figure what an acceptable loss would be….Mutation (possible death) and insanity vs. instantaneous travel…

I’ll get back to you on that…

Posted by K | Report as abusive

I’ve flown Ryanair before. Quite frankly, I’m surprised they even have lavatories on their planes. I don’t remember even wearing a seatbelt.

Posted by Jill | Report as abusive

What if you just don’t flush. Maybe they can refund your “deposit.”

Posted by Dan | Report as abusive

O’Leary’s idea stinks, literally. The best way to get rid of flatulence is to drop a load. The last thing I want is that fat guy sitting next to me holding it so he doesn’t have to spend his candy bar money. Of course, Depends might see a boom in business.

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

I think Id just start wearing a diaper and let the other passengers bathe in my stench with me. I think that would be an appropraite response to something this arrogant.

Arent costs like this calculated into the ticket price?

Posted by KnottyMars | Report as abusive

Well I have been into some restaraunts and stores that charge you a quarter or fifty cents to use their facilities. Maybe it is a good idea then it helps cover the operational costs and possibly help deter people from tearing the facilites up.

Posted by Melissa | Report as abusive

Pay to use the toilet huh?? Wow, what will they think of next? They’re already ripping you off to get from one place to another, charging loads and loads for a simple drink n’ snack.. now they want to charge to take a dump?! That’s crazy. Sometimes I can’t believe how little companies think about their customers. It’s basic customer service, BASIC.. to have a lavatory available when you’ve got a captive audience.

Posted by Tobraham | Report as abusive

tell you what i would do, the diaper one is good i also thought of that but i would descreatly take it off and hand it to the flight attendant and ask her or him to dispose of it, i must be living a sheltered life cause i have never run into a restraunt that i had to pay to use the facilities, the day a restaraunt in michigan that i go into to eat and they charge me for going to the bathroom is the day i walk out call the health department and sink their butts, i don’t know where you live melissa but that is just plain illegal in every state i know of here in the united states, a regular store is another kettle of fish. but a place that serves food CANNOT DO THAT, by law they must have facilities to use and to wash your hands, that’s the law as long as they serve food on the prememsis, but like i said do your business in the diaper and hand it to the people on the plane, preferably the captain when he makes a trip back into the cabins, bet that stops in a hurry,

Posted by molly | Report as abusive

I think it is an awesome idea…..in fact I love Ryanair…you only pay for what you use….I rarely use the toilets on a flight <4 hours anyway….why should I pay for it in my ticket price. I just flew from Frankfurt to Marrakech, Morocco for 30 euros….I will hold it if the prices remain that good!!

Posted by Sean | Report as abusive

What an amazing idea. I mean, why pay for something you don’t use? I’ve never used a toilet on an airplane and I wouldn’t ever want to, so why should I pay for it?

If you have a problem with it, you could always go before you get on the plane.

Or fly a different airline.

Posted by Truston | Report as abusive

Better idea, remove one of the toilets, and make it a “Mile High” room and charge 30 euros for 15 minutes or something.

Posted by Chris | Report as abusive

Bottom line the toilets are two extra seats. I don’t know what the copilot does for a living (mostly nothing), that’s an extra seat too, plus a cost reduction. I think the stewardesses are already gone on Ryanair? I have a GPS in my car from buy.com, perfectly adequate, but not a big fancy flight computer. In times like these you have to open your mind, it’s getting harder and harder to make any real money. I don’t think the VP bonus is even a lousy billion euros…

well i think people will go to other carriers if this came into place.

on a plus side I am a nurse and I have control of a huge store of adult nappies of all sizes so I will be fine:-) so if you meet me on a flight be nice to me i will be carrying spares :-D

Posted by charles beresford | Report as abusive

and to Tim with the fat remark “The last thing I want is that fat guy sitting next to me holding it so he doesn’t have to spend his candy bar money.” i am tubby(not obese but a beer belly) i think i will now give the extra big people free nappies/dippers so the dont have to hold it in and give you the pleasure more than the smell of wind :-) enjoy your flight with Ryanair where the air is natural!

Posted by charlie | Report as abusive

Ah Dave you are obviously oblivious to the world of aviation. I am a pilot and I can tell you the co-pilot does quite a bit indeed. If he or she is not actually flying the plane then he or she is monitoring everything to make sure the plane is behaving as it should. Yes, there is such thing as autopilot but that does not mean the captain or co-pilot can take a nap. (no comments about pilots who have been caught doing so, I am not saying it’s a perfect world.) I really wish the general public would stop making assumptions about an industry they know nothing about.
Not to be a downer and spoil the mood though I do have an idea. Since weight is a main factor in the performance, and subsequently cost, of flying an aircraft, I think passengers should be given a discount for taking a dump before each flight since it would eliminate a lot of extra cary on….baggage.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

They should just weigh people and excise per pound surcharge… or in Ryan Air’s case, a per kg surcharge…

Posted by Alx98 | Report as abusive

Ryanair boss states air stewardesses should be granted to land planes in an emergency…

“Really, you only need one pilot. Let’s take out the second pilot. Let the b—– computer fly it.”When asked what would happen if the single pilot fell ill while flying a plane, he said: “If the pilot has an emergency, he rings the bell, h……