When life hands you urine, make Urinade!

March 7, 2009

A few days ago I blogged about plans to create a soft drink made from cow urine. Seriously. We even discussed ad and marketing uh, challenges to what we dubbed “Mellow Yellow.”

This was a popular post, I gather because readers want to make damned sure they don’t go out and buy some by accident. So we’ve talked to folks associated with the project and done a video report.

One of the dudes in our report assures us that the stuff  “will sell like hotcakes!”

Um, sure. Maybe like hotcakes that are made from cow dung.

Another guy says, “one bottle contains about five to six milliliters of cow urine.”

That’s good to know, but please, buddy, DON’T make that your ad slogan!

Our report says the beverage’s flavor has yet to be decided. I’d quibble with that. If you make a drink from cow urine, the flavor is pretty far down the road already.

Guys, unless you’re going to mix the urine with molten lava or crushed Brussels sprouts, good luck with taking people’s minds off of the you-know-what.

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I can foresee the Food and Drug Administration citing the bottlers: You can’t call this Urinade, why there’s not enough urine in it.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

I was gonna write something clever…like “Urine for a real treat!” but I’m just so disgusted by the whole thing that I think I’ll go vomit instead.

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Yeah, K, I think I may be accused of yellow urinalism over this one…

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Yellow urinalism???


Now that IS noteworthy!

I can see it now!

A cup of steaming urine, with the special today! Yes!

Can’t wait for that ‘s*** sandwich,’ and that cup of foamy cow urine!

And yes! I DO want some french fried pig ovaries to go with that!

Ah, Michelle. You DO know the way to a mans heart!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

you know i don’t think any one buy it or if it was name by any other name it still be crush. mad cow get mix up in a soft drink it would mean big time law suit, who in their right mind even try this be asking for trouble

Posted by Chief ADFP | Report as abusive

wait, french fried pig ovaries? I think i saw andrew zimmerman eating them on bizarre foods last night…yummm

Posted by Paul | Report as abusive

Hey, Bob, did you really need the graphic of the cow whizzing to communicate your message? I mean . . . your title pretty much covered it.

Posted by Sally | Report as abusive

The good news is if you drink cow urine it boosts your karma. Many low caste Indians drink cow urine to help them in their next reincarnation. Can you think of anything better then drinking urine from a goddess? I wish I was living in India again so I could bring a case back for friends. Imagine the party we could have had with MOOgaritas.

Posted by Indianexpat | Report as abusive

I take your point, Sally, but some folks have a hard time visualizing these things….

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Ah, gee whiz, that guy was a white male, 25 yrs old and after a year of drinkin’ Bob Basler’s Bovine Urine, just look what happened. He also was goin’ blind on the stuff. I think the Bull Urine has to be diluted more just like the Bull S**t. Bob you are now qualified as a Bovine Urinologist Par Excellence! Go back to Urinalism School and get your head out of the trough. I gotta go take a whiz after reading your report.

Posted by Ray | Report as abusive

[…] When life hands you urine, make Urinade! […]

Posted by How To Diagnose Juvenile Diabetes | Hobby Cash: Make Cash Blogging About the Things You Love | Report as abusive

Wait wait wait…cow urine? Holy poop#$%#@%…I would make my son try it first before i did. I did that with rocky mountain oysters too… i didn’t eat them cause he didn’t like them. What temp would you serve it at? might be a bit musty…

Good Luck!

Posted by rich | Report as abusive

[…] Before I’d wear this I would take a gyrocopter ride with Velma, work as an elephant butt-checker, or even drink a frosty pitcher of “Urinade.” […]

Posted by The worst outfit in the history of earth? | iSawNEWS.com | Report as abusive

[…] Before I’d wear this I would take a gyrocopter ride with Velma, work as an elephant butt-checker, or even drink a frosty pitcher of “Urinade.” […]

Posted by The worst outfit in the history of earth? – 4th Edition | Report as abusive