Vampire chicks feast on yummy plague flesh!

March 12, 2009

Over in Italy, they found the remains of a female “vampire,” buried with a brick jammed between her jaws to prevent her from feeding on plague victims.

Right. Apparently scientists have discounted the more obvious explanation, that maybe she just had one of those high shrill voices that really irritated people.

Our story says gravediggers reopening mass graves would come across bodies bloated by gas, with hair still growing and blood seeping from their mouths, and believe them to be still alive.

This explains not only the origins of vampire myths, but also why “Mass Grave Reopener” is often listed pretty far down among career choices, just above proctologist.

Why am I mentioning this? To point out that the caption on the handout photo below says you can’t use it for advertising campaigns.

So too bad! You guys over at Acme Long-lasting Bricks are just out of luck. Same goes for you, Acme Primitive Dental Supply Co. Just live with it!

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Above: A model presents a creation at Albania Fashion Week in 2008 file photo. REUTERS/ Arben Celi

Below: Undated handout photo from University of Florence shows remains of a female “vampire” from 16th-century Venice. REUTERS/Handout NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS

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8 comments

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Maybe she tried to suck blood from the statue of David and got his arm instead. Hah! I have solved the mystery.

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

oooookkkkkkkkkkk! well odly enough i think i saw her in a couple of popular music videos lol ! there everywhere !

beware ! rappers one luv

Like trying to get blood from a stone…right?

Yeah. Tell me I’m not clever.

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Finding a woman with her mouth bricked up ? “Vampire” is not the first assumption I would make. This is just her husband getting the final word ….

Posted by Dave | Report as abusive

Even back then, models found ways to try to eat things that wouldn’t make them appear to be of normal proportions.

How sad.

tim

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

I suppose that this occurence predated modern foot wear?

I mean…’Put a sock in it’ would be hard to do back then.

Put a rock (or a brick) in it seemed to have its place in history. No?

Yes!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

Tastes like chicken.

Posted by bob | Report as abusive

[...] Oddly Enough » Blog Archive » Vampire chicks feast on yummy plague … [...]

[...] Oddly Enough » Blog Archive » Vampire chicks feast on yummy plague … [...]

She may not have been the vampire, but if she really were then maybe she tried to bite someone and they killed her by shoving the stone in her mouth?? Just a guess. And If you look closely enough at the picture, you’ll notice that her k-9s are higher above the rest of her teeth, in which case most believe vampires could elongate their “fangs”.

Posted by Lani | Report as abusive

[...] Oddly Enough » Blog Archive » Vampire chicks feast on yummy plague … [...]

[...] Oddly Enough » Blog Archive » Vampire chicks feast on yummy plague … [...]