Stupid fashion: accessory to the crime?

March 23, 2009

Blog Guy, I love  your fashion coverage, but please write more about accessories.

You’re right. As the lady in “Steel Magnolias” said, “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” This season, it’s garden gloves. See how much better this outfit looks by adding big honking weed-pullers?

Brilliant! What else?

For the first time in years, swords are back. Sabers, scimitars… Cutting edge fashion.

Great, I’ll be en garde for them. And what about hats?

Strictly stovepipe. It’s the Babe Lincoln look this season, all the way.

Hold on Blog Guy. You can’t tell me well-dressed women will look like Abraham Lincoln.

Honest! And not just for accessories, but basics.

I hope this isn’t going where I think it is.

Maybe. It’s the season of the Gettysburg Dress!

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REUTERS photos by Carlos Barria, Adnan Abidi, Stefano Rellandini

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I need gloves like that to take care of my garden. But if it is fashion i cannot use to work…


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Mr Bob!

I am happy to see that gardening gloves came into style! Now maybe I can get my wife to actually go out and do some gardening! Instead of dropping some kind of seed on the ground and saying, ‘There! My gardening chores are through for the year!’

And I won’t be boring you with the details of putting up a chicken wire cage to keep the ground hogs out of my tomato patch, this year.

Nor will I be telling you how much easier it will be to tend, as I told my wife, hopefully thinking that she can tend these delicious ‘mater plants.

Nor of the weed block and all of the top soil, manure, potting soil and red mulch which I lovingly put out for these tomato plants.

Nor of the drip hoses I employed.

As you probably know, chicken wire, much of the time, ends up perforating the users fingers, quite often, until the placement is finished.

Yes, I know. I should have worn gardening gloves.

So now. Does the stiffening of the neck and the increasingly difficulty opening my jaws present a problem, do you think?

On to the next bit of haute couture!

What is wrong with carrying a pointy and stabby sword, anyway? One can not be arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, can they?

I mean, I have been carrying my NCO sword from the Marines many years now, and everyone just says, ‘Nice sword Timmy! I wish that I could have one!’

To which I always reply, ‘Enlist, and want no more!’

And the last piece of hattie joie d’ vivre?

I did wear a Mad Hatters stove pipe, all done in pearly gray, with a set of goggle worn around the hat, just above the brim!

Laugh not, lest ye be laughed at!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

Never mind that last line. Sorry about censuring the laugh making king!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

Oh yay! I want a Dick hat too. Er… I mean Dickensian, of course.

Peculiar gloves indeed.. and what’s going on with that Sinbad the sailor look?

I guess being a model isn’t all that glamorous if they make you wear stuff like this…

Posted by Modeling | Report as abusive