News, but not the serious kind
Warning: smoking tobacco may be… Oh, never mind!
Confidential memo to Acme Tobacco Research and Development Team:
Who wants to light up one cancer stick after another when you can have the nicotine equivalent of an all-you-can-eat buffet?
Of course, our tests of the massive cigarettes in selected markets show we do have a few kinks to sort out:
- Consumers need a wheelbarrow to haul a pack home.
- Today’s carmakers are NOT in the mood to redesign dashboard lighters for these puppies.
- Office workers will have to stand outside for a single eight-hour cigarette break before heading home at quitting time.
- Some young teenagers aren’t strong enough to hold Jumborettes. Jumborette Juniors, anyone?