The very worst job: he who must not be named!

April 7, 2009

Blog Guy, my daughter hasn’t decided on a career. You give great job advice, and you’ve even named the worst job in the world. Could you remind me what that was?

Oh, I’ve written about so many bad careers. There’s crocodile dentistry, being a crew member aboard a homemade submarine, being a trolleybus driver’s assistant.

Yeah, yeah, those are all very bad, but I know you’ve had worse.

I’ve mentioned lots of jobs in the exciting field of fireworks. Firecracker tester, fireworks hauler, firecracker victim, confiscated fireworks gasoline soaker and burner.

Hey, those fireworks jobs sound pretty sweet!

Wow. Do you live in Texas?  What about bad jobs in the military? Like the dude who looks down rifle barrels to see if anything seems wrong.

No, worse than that.

The Osama bin Laden look-alike who patrols a slum with a toy rifle? The Semen-collecting fake cow driver? The women in skimpy outfits who have to sit right in the barf-path of Wing Bowl competitors and stare longingly at their greasy mouths?

That would a horrible fate for my Zoe Belle, but I know you have worse.

Look lady, I know what you want, but don’t make me use that photo. Please.

I’m writing to your editor. You’ll show the photo before this week is over!

I want guesses from readers. Go wild, because this photo has never been used here.

Ignore the voices in your head. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Above: Fernando Aguirre, locally known as Osama Bin Laden, patrols Bogota slum, in 2008 photo. REUTERS/ Daniel Munoz

Below: Wing Bowl champion John “Super Squibb” Squibb wins the chicken wing eating contest in Philadelphia, January 30, 2009. REUTERS/Tim Shaffer

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23 comments

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What about the guy who picks up owl barf off the floor of barns? I saw that on Dirty Jobs. He calls himself an “owl vomitologist.”

Nice try, Krista, but trust me. Compared with the job I have in mind, that dude works in a candy factory.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

I don’t know about you but that “cow urine drink taste tester” sounds like a pretty rotten gig to me.

Posted by Jim R | Report as abusive

What about the guy who counts & sorts incoming diapers at the diaper cleaning service?

Posted by Tony | Report as abusive

Sorry Jim and Tony. By comparison, those jobs are a breath of fresh air.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Does teh job involve working for Obama?

Posted by Ben | Report as abusive

Can we get a clue?

Posted by NM | Report as abusive

Sorry NM, I really can’t, because the Gaming Commission has informed me that betting on this question is extremely heavy. So I have to be really clean on this… You’ll know on Thursday.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Ooh, I know. The people who strip the flesh off of animal bones for taxidermy?

Posted by Jenn | Report as abusive

Hah, Jenn. They’ve got a day at the beach by comparison. But nice try.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

This one’s easy. It’s gotta be that guy cleaning out the sewers in India. Day at the beach? More like a day covered in human feces. EWWWWWWW!!!

Posted by Chelsea | Report as abusive

The person who scripts these horrible answers and retorts for you?

Posted by AD | Report as abusive

You write blogs Robert.

Posted by Frank | Report as abusive

What about the guy that had to look at all the pictures of bad careers before writing an article about horrible careers?

Posted by Stephen | Report as abusive

Dear God: I know I don’t call upon you much, but humor me this one time and don’t let the picture of the Calcutta guy posing in a manhole show up on this page tomorrow… Amen.

Posted by Ratbertovich | Report as abusive

How about the Chinese guy who works at the cat slaughter house in Beijing, making kitty cat skin blankets for people with back pain in France?

Posted by Dolmance | Report as abusive

What about a suicide bomber demonstration staffmember.

Posted by Samawi | Report as abusive

[...] Remember to make your guess at the Worst Job in the World [...]

[...] is gratifying to see the response to yesterday’s post about the Very Worst Job in the World. Guesses are still very welcome, and the actual job will be announced at 11 a.m. on [...]

anyone who has the job of putting cats and dogs down at the animal shelters

Posted by Keith | Report as abusive

[...] is gratifying to see the response to yesterday’s post about the Very Worst Job in the World. Guesses are still very welcome, and the actual job will be announced at 11 a.m. on [...]

The ‘clue’ picture looks like a hand on an elephants hide….you know where this one’s going..Elephant ‘mess’ cleaner? That’s foul…..not my job btw!

Posted by Amn | Report as abusive

Nice try, Amn, but compared with the real job, being an elephant mess cleaner would be a walk in the park.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

I think the worst job in the world would be sewage treatment plant maintenance diver. I saw it on tv. They guy put on wetsuit and scuba gear and dove in.

Posted by Benjamin | Report as abusive

“They guy put on wetsuit and scuba gear and dove in.”

Out here in India they dive in without any of that sissy stuff…

http://howichangedcareers.com/2009/04/02  /professional-sewer-cleaner-its-no-apri l-fools-joke/

Now that takes a lot of guts and a non-existent sense of smell I guess… yeah

Posted by havocke | Report as abusive

I love howichangedcareers.com. Always full of good inspirational advice for those wanting to change jobs. My favorite posting is Office Bully.

http://howichangedcareers.com/2009/06/15  /office-bully/

Posted by bo | Report as abusive