It don’t get much worse than this!

April 9, 2009

I’m not going to prolong it. The Worst Job in the World title came down to a number of factors – danger, grossness, fecalocitude, etc.

In the end, I had to choose the worst job I happen to have a photo of, and that brings us to the exciting field of elephant proctology.

Astoundingly, one person guessed it right in a comment on my Oddly Enough Facebook blog wall. They left no name, which I guess means they’re currently wanted by the law for something or other.

For those of you wondering what the doctor is saying here:

  • “Damn Verizon! I’m getting no reception in here at all!”
  • “Feels like he had egg salad and guacamole for dinner.”
  • “Bring me the tree trimmers! He’s got hemorrhoids the size of a schnauzer!”
  • “I found my lunchbox, Lonnie! Is it noon yet?”

Here is the job in real life, so you college grads looking at glossy brochures, pay attention! Got a degree in creative writing? The interview line starts you-know-where.

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A doctor cleans the rectum of Jamilah, a 29-year-old female elephant, before conducting a four-dimensional ultrasound exam, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Tim Chong

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But nearly as important as what the guy on the right is doing, is what the guy on the left is listening for: “Watch out, doc, she’s gonna blow!”

Posted by Beth | Report as abusive

That is Harrison Ford in the trailer for the new Indiana Jones film: Up to my Skull Raiding the Crack of Doom for the Last Crusade to Find my Whip, or Why I Hate Republicans.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

Holy crap, Bob, you win. Owl vomit is no comparison to this.

Posted by Krista | Report as abusive

You gave that doctor the title of the worst job in the world, but look at his face! That is the face of a man who is completely passionate about the well being of that elephant’s poop shoot.

Posted by minnow | Report as abusive

That’s perfectly logical, Minnow. The fact that you don’t KNOW you’ve got the worlds’ worst job doesn’t mean that you don’t still have it.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

[…] Oddly Enough ? Blog Archive ? It don?t get much worse than this … By Robert Basler Got a degree in creative writing? The interview line starts you-know-where. Meet interesting people. Join the Oddly Enough blog network! A doctor cleans the rectum of Jamilah, a 29-year-old female elephant, before conducting a … Oddly Enough – […]

Posted by Creative Writing Courses Creative Writing Corner: How to Interrogate Your Character « | Report as abusive

I love the fact that a rubber glove isn’t enough, he has a full length plastic coat. Awesome!

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

That job would not be fun.

Posted by Gail | Report as abusive

Is the guy on the right ‘holding’ the tail, or ‘hoding on’ to the tain (and more like hanging on to the tail).

Posted by Josh | Report as abusive

Mr Bob,Back a lot of years ago, while I was in bootcamp for the Marines, we were all told that if a bio or a chemical threat was feared, the lowest ranking person in the unit would be made to go outside and sit there with his gas mask off, while we watched him for signs of bad things in the air.I am not sure if they were just trying to put us into more fear for our selves than was already intilled by the DIs, but…That job would be pretty much sucky, right?

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

You couldn’t pay me enough… NO WAY!

Posted by charlot | Report as abusive

Tim – Sucky? I suppose. I certainly wouldn’t consider it a promotion…

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Wow! not a one of you folks ever work on a ranch? Horse or cow? You get pretty personal with the live stock especially when they are birthing. You people would really freak if you saw what happens if you have a stud bull. That semen is worth a lot of money and getting it can be real tricky. This here is childs play.

Posted by B. Free | Report as abusive

The veterinarian has had his training, exactly knowing this would happen (most of them regularly have their arms in farm animals’ rectums). It’s the other guys who have the worse job. Notice how none of them are looking at the action and how they are definitely avoiding eye contact with each other.

Posted by Ratbertovich | Report as abusive

I’m just wondering what the heck a 4 dimensional ultrasound is. I also wonder if he’s going to tell his wife that he was intimate with a 29 year old female when he gets home. In all, I declare this blog full of wonder.

Posted by Joshua | Report as abusive

Okay, several points here. I do live on a ranch, B.Free, but I believe in natural childbirth, so all of my bulls and stallions give birth in the privacy of their own dorms.And Charlot, I still do agree the guy in the photo has a sucky job, but it has since occurred to me that he has it pretty easy compared with at least two other people: his manicurist and his dermatologist.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

One of your commentors, “Beth” suggested the fellow on the left might be saying “Watch out, she’s gonna blow.”If the elephant is a “she” why is a proctologist examining her???Bill

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

You know what he said as he left for work? “Just slipping into the fourth dimension honey – don’t wait up”!

Posted by tess | Report as abusive

Ummm is “fecalocitude” a word you invented, or what?I’m sure female elephants have butt problems too.

Posted by MikeVa | Report as abusive

Do you prefer fecalocity?

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Mr Bob,I think the correct term would be ‘fecallacio.’I could be wrong, also.

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

I have to think that the ELEPHANT has the worse job in the world. Not only is he/she locked up in a zoo and not in his/her natural habitat, but some white dude has his entire arm up his/her backside. On top of all that, the poor pachyderm is being examined not in the privacy of a nice, white clinic room, but out in the open with at least four other people watching. You know he/she isn’t going to live that down with the other elephants, especially after they see the webshots. The doctor gets to rip off his plasticwear and go on with his day, but the recently violated elephant has to behave like a happy mammal for the paying tourists. Talk about a job that sucks.

Posted by Librarian | Report as abusive

Hey! Is that Harrison Ford?

Posted by Steve B | Report as abusive

Thank you Steve B.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

[…] 1. It don’t get much worse than this! […]

Posted by April bests: why are you smiling? | | Report as abusive

That is an awesome post. It looks like the doctor is wearing a full body condom.

Posted by Calvin | Report as abusive

[…] I’d wear this I would take a gyrocopter ride with Velma, work as an elephant butt-checker, or even drink a frosty pitcher of […]

Posted by The worst outfit in the history of earth? | | Report as abusive

[…] having to stuff 500 DVDs in an hour, although god knows I love them for it … Is it worse than this job? * Lemondrop presents: Movies We’re Glad We’ve Stopped Quoting. Admit it, you’ve […]

Posted by mental_floss Blog » The Weekend Links | Report as abusive