What if Macy’s got attacked on Thanksgiving?

April 10, 2009

Well, I’m in trouble now.

Awhile back, the Defense Department told me to make our military capability the best in the world. I looked for bargains, because who wants to waste tax dollars?

Their original memo said, and I quote, “Price is no object. We’ll back you if there is inflation.”

With that in mind, I found this company called Potemkin Balloons that sells inflatable hardware. You know, missile systems, jets, tanks, the works. So I went in that direction. I thought the stuff would look really awesome in military parades.

Did I mention that Potemkin throws in free bicycle pumps?

Now the Pentagon is cheesed-off, and I’m the scapegoat. Here I sit on one of my inflatable aircraft carriers, in an inflatable brig, watching inflatable helicopters leak air and flop into the water near real Somali pirate boats.

This just isn’t fair. Excuse me while I blow up my inflatable lawyer.

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Above: Workers inflate model of a long range surface-to-air missile system at the compound of the RusBal balloon manufacturer outside Moscow, April 8, 2009. The firm produces inflatable dummy targets.

Below: Worker inflates a model of a Russian tank standing next to an inflatable fighter jet.

REUTERS photos by Thomas Peter

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3 comments

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Well, we all knew you were full of hot air, but this is ridiculous! ;-)

Posted by Beth | Report as abusive

….and here I am thinking inflatable dolls were sexy! Can I get their contact number?

Posted by Saurabh | Report as abusive

This is older than time itself the brits did this in WWII and it remains effective and legitimate. you should see what they did to hide the lockheed factory so we have done it as well… After all alls fair

P/S Tell the Generals and Admirals that there is an effective way of dealing with the pirates

Q-boats look it up

Posted by Manny | Report as abusive