Oddly Enough Blog

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Stay out, hon, I’m eatin’ scampi!

April 15, 2009

Blog Guy, I need help. I’m a smoker, and…

Say no more, I’ll try to help you quit.

No! I don’t want to quit, I just don’t want my wife to catch me! How can I cover the smell?

Here is the very latest cover-up technology. You line a spare room with 4,600 pounds of garlic, then heat it to 120 degrees, permeating every inch with the aroma. You could light up a cow pie and nobody would notice.

But won’t my wife wonder about the garlic smell?

Sure. Just say an Italian restaurant opened next door.

But she’ll learn that isn’t true when she tries to make dinner reservations there.

Ah, so you’ve got a SMART wife, huh? Then say you added a garlic panic room for vampire attacks.

Perfect! I think she’ll fall for that.

Yeah, even the smart ones usually do.

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A vendor smokes as he sells garlic at a market in Taiyuan, Shanxi province, China, April 13, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer

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Comments

Fed up with the slow process of legalization of marijuana, Pedro took it upon himself to find “something else to smoke, man”…

Posted by K | Report as abusive
 

so THAT’s why my garlic shipped from China smells a little smokey…

Posted by minnow | Report as abusive
 

bathing in tomato juice also covers the smell.

Posted by Drewbie | Report as abusive
 

Ah, garlic warehouse fire! Suddenly, the advent of cannibalism makes a twisted, delicious kind of sense. Mmmm, long pork…

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive
 

And Pedro found the very interesting effects of smoking garlic, including the increased difficulty in breathalising and the ease of concealment. Nevertheless, his continuously tearful eyes made him desist from such practice…

Posted by M | Report as abusive
 

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