Avast, fashion design staff, this be a genuine crisis!
For years we’ve featured pirate-themed fashions in our shows, and we’ve made millions from big-spenders who thought the piracy thing was romantic and exotic.
Now, thanks to a couple of incidents overseas someplace, the whole world is about to see that real pirates don’t dress like we thought. Do I have to remind you what kind of inventory wastage we’re looking at here?
It’s time for risk management. Earl, talk to their people and find out how much it would cost us to costume the alleged Somali pirates for their court appearance. I’m talking eye patches, peglegs, buccaneer boots… And ask if they can wear parrots on their shoulders.
Kelli, find out if there’s any specific rule about prisoners bringing cutlasses and flintlock pistols to court.
Tina, find us a speech coach. We need to teach these guys to say stuff like, “Ahoy, your honor!” and “Shiver me timbers, if it please the cour!…”
I myself will be responsible for setting up a lunchtime rum bar at the courthouse.
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Above: Suspected pirates keep their hands in the air as they are apprehended by U.S. Navy in the Gulf of Aden, Somalia, in photo taken February 11, 2009. REUTERS/Jason R. Zalasky/U.S. Navy photo/Handout
Below: Assorted pirate fashion shots. REUTERS
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5 comments so far
[...] Original post by Oddly Enough [...]
- Posted by Begin your opening arrrrrrguments!Well, from these photos it’s clear that what the Somalis really need are both a fashion consultant and a new personnel recruiter. They would then find themselves much more welcome on merchant ships.
- Posted by Detroit JohnnieCutlasses must be no longer than 37 inches and not fewer than 29 inches. They must be free of rust and debris, including (but not limited to) dried blood, skin, internal organs, and melted marshmallow gunk.
Flintlock pistols will not be permitted as they pose a significant risk to the judge (depending upon the ruling).
- Posted by KShiver me timbers and keel-haul the lot of … wait. She’s kinda hot. Looks like I got me a new cabin ‘boy.’ Shiver me ‘timber,’ indeed.
- Posted by Shawn Hendricks[...] The Daily Obsession put an intriguing blog post on Begin your opening arrrrrrguments!Here’s a quick excerptAvast, fashion design staff, this be a genuine crisis! For years we’ve featured pirate-themed fashions in our shows, and we’ve made… [...]
- Posted by Topics about Fashion » Archive » Begin your opening arrrrrrguments!