Finally screening their visitors?

April 22, 2009

Blog Guy, for a school assignment I have to write about a good deed done by a blog. I know your blog aims to improve the human condition. What have you done lately?

I’m glad you asked. Recently I published an item about Britain’s prime minister having to wait outside to greet guests, because he couldn’t see them coming. I suggested a good old-fashioned screen door, so he could watch from his living room.

He must read my blog, because voila, they now have a blue net at 10 Downing Street. It’s not quite as attractive as aluminum, but it does the job.

Thanks! So those British people really didn’t know about screen doors until your blog?

Well, it’s a known historical fact that a chief reason we won the American Revolution was our screen doors. British troops, not familiar with the concept, would just stupidly march up the sidewalk, unaware that every move was being watched.

Amazing! Good old yankee ingenuity won the day, huh?

Yes, and don’t even get me started on how many British troops were tricked by our automatic garage door openers.

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A policeman stands next to 10 Downing Street in London, April 20, 2009. Sports personalities went to Downing Street for the launch of a malaria initiative, and a blue malaria net covered the front door for the occasion. REUTERS/ Stefan Wermuth

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Mr Bob,

Down here in Hillbilliland, we deal with unwanted visitors such as ‘possums and Jehovah Witnesses by equipping our hovels with razor wire screen doors.

All we have to do is to open the screen door rapidly, and say ‘Oopsie daisy’ when these infernal visitors arrive and bingo!

Stew meat, ready to be cooked!

‘Possum hair and really frumpy clothing make for some fine roughage, also!

You wouldn’t by any chance want some sent to you for your fine culinary tasting, would you, Mr Bob?

All you have to do is pay for the postage and handling!

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