You can’t HANDLE the ball!
Okay guys, this is your big chance tonight. We’re playing the Lakers, so Old Coach has some sage advice for you. Listen up.
You can make or break your career tonight. You know how?
What? By scoring the winning shot? Oh please, get a grip!
No! Tonight you can get your big break because Jack Nicholson will be at the game, and you can do something so dramatic that you get photographed near him! You can’t buy publicity like that!
Now we’re all going to practice our Nicholson Slides. Wave your arms and legs and aim for a folding chair, guys. Again. Again!
But one word of caution. If Nicholson is sitting there with an older guy who seems to have his arm around him, that’s not the time to do it. You should – Hey! Deron! Are you listening to Old Coach? What did I just say?
Utah Jazz’s Deron Williams slides into spectators, including actor Jack Nicholson, while reaching for a loose ball, in Los Angeles, April 27, 2009. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok