Give me a leash, I’m a horticulturist!

April 29, 2009

Blog Guy, I took a vocational preference test and it said I should be a horticulturist. I’m embarrassed to say I don’t know what that is. Can you tell me?

Sure. A horticulturist is someone who takes care of dogs.

Really? That surprises me. I’ve never had a dog, and there were no questions about dogs on the test. Are you sure?

Absolutely. Look at these photos of the White House horticulturist with President Bush’s dog Miss Beazley, and President Obama’s dog Bo. I don’t think the White House would get something like that wrong. The word horticulture comes from the Latin root for pooper-scooper, and meansĀ  “You did WHAT in the Lincoln Bedroom?”

But this is awful! I’m all set to go off to an agricultural college in the fall!

It’s better to know now than to study for years and then wash out. You should cancel your college plans and see if this Haney guy needs any dog help.

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White House Horticulturist Dale Haney holds President George W. Bush’s dog Miss Beazley on the South Lawn of the White House, May 6, 2007. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

White House Horticulturist Dale Haney walks President Barack Obama’s dog Bo at the White House, April 27, 2009. REUTERS/Jim Young

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You can’t fool me. I know it’s a secret CIA security project involving small strategically placed land mines using soft organic matter.

Posted by gb | Report as abusive