From tapdance to lapdance?

May 11, 2009

A reader named Kelli, in Texas, writes, “Bob, I’m starting to enter serious beauty pageants, and I’m looking for something to perform in the talent portion. I was planning to twirl a baton while whistling ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas… ‘”

Well Kelli, that’s fine. But as we’re no longer living in the 1950s maybe you should be a bit more edgy.

Take this contestant in the Miss Universe Japan competition. Either her talent is¬†cardiopulmonary resuscitation, or else she did an actual lap dance onstage. There’s something you don’t see all the time.

I wasn’t sure this would be seen as proper, but I went to a site that tells about choosing your talent, and it said, “…anything you can perform onstage is acceptable.” If you’ve seen “Miss Saigon,” you know that doesn’t rule out very much.

The site also advises, “Take your talent public. Look for opportunities to perform in recitals, church or community groups.”

It looks to me like this woman has rehearsed plenty, though I’m not sure it was at church groups. So rethink the baton, and let me know if you want to follow in the stiletto heels of this contestant.

Oh, and did I mention? She won.

Pageant slideshow

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Winner of Miss Universe Japan 2009 Emiri Miyasaka performs during the Miss Universe Japan finals in Tokyo, May 11, 2009. REUTERS/Toru Hanai

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And look at the pleasure she brought to the Judge!

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

…Miss Universe Japan was also awarded $10,000, in small bills, stuck into her underwear waistband and bra, in lieu of a check.

Posted by K | Report as abusive

Me love her long time!

Posted by Raul | Report as abusive

If nothing else, I’d give her a buck.

Posted by Tac | Report as abusive

I thought Marie Ooyama was going to win but Emiri Miyasaka was the deserved winner, she had the style and class. yasaka-wins-miss-japan-universe-2009/

Posted by leroy | Report as abusive

@ K

Hahahahahaha! Awesome! Nice job *applauds*

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

What about a tap dancing lap dancer?

Posted by Dolmance | Report as abusive

Dolmance, those two art forms are a deadly mix, causing hundreds of tragic deaths every year.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Well this probably expains why perez hilton doesn’t live in Japan!

Japan rules!

Posted by bby_70 | Report as abusive