The worst outfit in the history of earth?

May 18, 2009

I blog a lot about bad fashion, and readers often ask what’s the worst outfit I’ve ever seen. You know, like one where I’d swallow a cyanide pill rather than wear it.

Until a couple of days ago that was a tough question, but no longer. It’s this one here.

Before I’d wear this I would take a gyrocopter ride with Velma, work as an elephant butt-checker, or even drink a frosty pitcher of “Urinade.”

To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure how you would describe this creation to the police, like if terrorists made you put it on.

“Hey, Lonnie, we’re goin’ to the beach today! Don’t forget, we’re dressin’ like King Tut would if it was casual Friday!

“And remember the most important part, Lon. We’re all gonna glue bits of blue plastic over our johnsons, so chicks will think we’re cool!”

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A model presents a creation by Kazakhstan’s Kenje design house during Kazakhstan Fashion Week in Almaty May 15, 2009. REUTERS/Shamil Zhumatov

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18 comments

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Ewwww! Now that is gross. Where could one wear an outfit like that except maybe a gay parade.

Posted by Tamara | Report as abusive

“Let’s see…why do I feel like I’ve forgotten something this morning? Head scarf? Check. Jacket? Check. Shirt and pants? Oh crap…

Posted by K | Report as abusive

i think the subtle bracelet completes the outfit. yes… yes it does.

Posted by minnow | Report as abusive

This is a clear example of underestimating your yardage when shopping …

Posted by Beth | Report as abusive

looks like a snake man:Pgreat color combinationbrilliant job

Posted by Paresh | Report as abusive

Looks like a evil scientist’s frightful gay sidekick. RENALDO?? Bring me my beakers, the sexy ones!!!

Posted by KnottyMars | Report as abusive

Refugee from a bad porn movie perhaps? ROFLMAO!

Posted by not stupid | Report as abusive

Oh, sweeties, we gays would NEVER wear that. It has no feathers.Although it should…it would cover up some of the ugly.

Posted by mundaetraversa | Report as abusive

Kazakhstan has a fashion week? Are you sure this isn’t just another Borat stunt?

Posted by geetwillickers | Report as abusive

If I were Egyptian and gay, I’d be pissed.

Posted by clarlynn | Report as abusive

It looks more like necrophilia. And the model is the passive partner.

Posted by Gauchenista | Report as abusive

The comment entry function said the anti-spam word was invalid and appeared not to post my comment, as has happened before, hence the duplication. If these really are being moderated by a sentient biped, maybe this will notify them to get it fixed!

Posted by Gauchenista | Report as abusive

Mr Bob,What I do believe I see hanging around his neck is a yoga mat.I am now giving practicing and teaching yoga.Even us yogis do have our pride, you know!I may be wrong, of course. I go to a tanning parlor every day and hold my eyes wide open, to allow my cataracts to fully ripen. So…that thang may not be a yoga mat, after all.Just in case it is, I am bleaching my mat, for that non blue color.

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

the thing I like the most about this attire (satire?) is the fact that it includes a short raincoat, to save you from getting wet while going to the beach or the pool, whence the shorts! Isn’t that just bloody brilliant? Swimming knickers and raincoats!

Posted by M | Report as abusive

By any chance is Kazakhstan downwind of Chernobyl?

Posted by some guy | Report as abusive

If King Tut were still in his grave, he would have been rolling over in it. Afterward, he’d probably get up, chase-down then strangle the designer before disintegrating in complete embarrassment.

Posted by Gasp! | Report as abusive

…ew….just ew.

Posted by christophor | Report as abusive

Do you suppose that the blue eye-spots are meant to scare away predators?

Posted by Aaron Eiben | Report as abusive

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