This may sting just a bit, Ma!

May 19, 2009

Blog Guy, my mom is turning 60 next month. My sisters and I want to give her something really special. Any ideas?

Sure. Do what many families are doing these days. Have Mom tattooed.

You mean a cute little tattoo just to show she’s still hip? Like on her back?

No, like all over. Look at this lady. She’s over 70 and Guinness says she’s the most senior tattooed woman in the world.

What the hell does that mean? What happens to all the other chicks with tattoos when they turn 70?

I guess we’re not supposed to ask.

I don’t know about this. What does this full-body tattoo thing cost?

That depends on how many guys you have to hire to hold her down.

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Isobel Varley, of Britain, poses during ‘II Expotatoo’ tattoo fair in Gijon, Spain, May 15, 2009. Varley is the most senior tattooed woman in the world according to The Guinness Records Book. REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

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Well, that’s a very colorful story. Long may she hold her title.

One possible side benefit, if one was selective in the style of tatoos chosen, is that the normal wrinkling and stretching that occurs with progressing age can be well disguised in the tatoo pattern. Paisleys and flowers work well to disguise pruned mellons, as shown in the example. Avoid anything with words or straight lines. Then again, if one likes the looks of wrinkles and stretching, appropriate (or inappropriate) tatoo selection can accentuate those effects.

Posted by Gasp! | Report as abusive

Her skin looks like the drapes in my grandma’s living room.

Posted by some guy | Report as abusive

now dts creepy

Posted by amola | Report as abusive