He shoots! He doesn’t score!

June 8, 2009

Blog Guy, explain something to me. I shot game two of the NBA Finals last night, and I had all the great action shots – Kobe Bryant, Courtney Lee, Pau Gasol – but my editor wouldn’t use any of them.

What did I do wrong?

You just never listen, do you? How many shots did you get of Leo?


Leonardo DiCaprio! That’s the guy you want to shoot at the Lakers games! Look at these classic basketball shots in this combo, all taken at different games! Do I have to tell you everything?

I’m sorry, I just forgot. It’s here in my notes from your blog. IF YOU’RE NOT SHOOTING LEO, YOU’RE NOT SHOOTING BASKETBALL.

Right. And what did I say is the ONLY shot better than Leo?

Uh, here it is. Jack Nicholson’s exposed gut.

Exactly. Now go study those notes, and don’t bring me any more Kobe Bryant!

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Above: Assorted Leonardo DiCaprio shots by REUTERS.

Right: Actor Jack Nicholson cheers during Game 2 of the NBA Finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Orlando Magic in Los Angeles, June 7, 2009. REUTERS/Mike Blake

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Well, I’ve never had reason to think about it before but now I know that I did not want to know whether he’s an innie or an outie.

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

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Posted by In The News – 6/8/2009 – HilariousHeadlines TALK | Report as abusive

hey, cut him sum slack. he prob wuz caught in d heat of d excitement n all. besides, we can’t b watchful all d time…………….n i kinda lyk him so

Posted by amola | Report as abusive

Robert, I do wonder if the idea in mentoring aspiring photographers is to get them to shoot gruesome and yucky things, such as Jack’s belly! If so, then I’d beg you’d refer them to your disreputable professions posts, so they can get an idea of what their life will be like.

Posted by M | Report as abusive

My dad always told me to keep it in my pants, but until this very moment I never really understood…

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Yeah, ladies, I know what you’re thinking. “If Leonardo was making eyes at me that way, I’d throw up my arms in surrender too.” Problem is, ladies, that’s Jack frickin’ Nicholson you’re lookin’ at right there! I am appalled.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

How does DiCaprio breathe with that little nose.

Posted by some big nosed guy | Report as abusive