Hey, it’s a brand-new freedom!

June 9, 2009

A guy has been sentenced to five months in jail for snatching the toupee off the head of a politician. Five months, and I’m not making that up.

The court’s reasoning was that the wig-grabber deprived the lawmaker of his “freedom to look good.”

Honestly, I wasn’t even aware that there WAS a freedom to look good, or I would have exercised it long ago.

It seems like this landmark decision could be the basis for legal action against the makers of nose rings, pork pie hats and even worse stuff, if there IS worse stuff.

And surely barbers who give mullet haircuts could go to prison for life.

I’d give a lot to see this guy on his first day in the slammer, when he has to tell the other hardened cons that he’s doing time for wig-snatching. They may deprive  him of his freedom to look good pretty quickly.

Video of the wig incident

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Above: Not the guy in the story. Former Philippine presidential contender Eddie Gil touches his wig in 2004 file photo. REUTERS/ Erik de Castro

Left: Wigged women at the E3 Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles, June 2, 2009. REUTERS/Phil McCarten

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Not for nothing but technically, the guy wasn’t just trying to look good, he was trying to look ‘prettier’.

I don’t get it. I personally PREFER my laws to be made middle-aged bald guys. Can you imagine Lady Gaga coming up with legislation?

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

sounds good. now they just need to enforce my right to sleep w/ hot chicks as often as i want. now, thats democracy

Posted by chris | Report as abusive

what about the law to “freely abolish those not looking good”??

Posted by minnow | Report as abusive

Even the victim does not possess this anomalous freedom to look good with his toupee, he certainly has the right against humuliation in a public place. There would be no debate if the incacerated guy had snatched the bra of a woman saying “I just want to restore her original look”.

Posted by Mario | Report as abusive

@ Mario

Oh oh… So toupee is to man as bra is to woman? Holy lack of support, Batman! No one’s told me I’ve been going topless for years now?

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

The German Ph.D designate who hurled his shoe onto the platform where Chinese premier Wen delivered speech did not want premier Wen to look good at Cambridge either. But he was acquitted coz the judge found his boo at Wen wasn’t excessive as to have broken the law.
With intense confrontational law-making assembly in Taiwan rendering inefficiency, judges there resort to inventing new laws criminalising unethical behaviour that tend to corrupt public morals. Are they acting ultra-vires or it is legal necessity ?

Posted by Steven | Report as abusive

*whispers* psst… What did Steven just say?

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

In the US, they’d charge him with assault or a hate crime. He’d probably get sentenced to 5 years, then get out early on probation because they need more room for greedy bank executives and 12 year old’s who get caught sharing their MP3 collection.

Wig snatcher had better be glad he only got 5 months. Here FL they’d probably just shoot him.

Posted by christophor | Report as abusive

Steven… Uh… hmmmm… Do they wear wigs?

Posted by christophor | Report as abusive

*whispers* psst, @Bandage… I think Steven said something about confrontations and politicians, so I guess he’s talking about toupee wearing politicians who fight openly in Taiwan. Is that a new form of sport I’ve been missing out on?

Posted by M | Report as abusive

@Bandage….it seems you’re the king of this column with just one voice ; and Im the king outside this column with different voices. Haha that’s freedom of speech….

Posted by Mario | Report as abusive

I think I’m confused. I’m so confused, I don’t even know what it is I’m confused about.

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

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Posted by Computers Articles | Computers Articles | Report as abusive

I agree with Bandage, Steven’s last sentence was too long to make sense of.

Posted by minnow | Report as abusive


Multiple voices? Do you often wake up with no memory of the past day? Do you find women’s clothing and high heels in your closet? Do strangers walk up to you and talk to you about the time you had last weekend? You might need psychiatric help!

Posted by Mary K | Report as abusive