Check the clavicles on that babe!

June 10, 2009

Fashion staff, this new push-up product of ours is going to turn the beauty business upside down!

Look at this pathetic Victoria’s Secret model showing off their push-up bra. Who needs that? Bosoms are SO last year. Just ask any guy.

Which is where our product comes in. Get ready for the age of the CLAVICLE! That’s right, collar bones ARE the new breasts!

See the hot model in the photo below? See how sensuous her clavicles look when they’re pushed up by our new miracle garment?

Now, for under $30, every woman in America can look like she’s had expensive Clavicle Enhancement Surgery, just like the movie stars have.

It’s a new ballgame, guys. Second base now starts at the neck!

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Above: Victoria’s Secret Angel Miranda Kerr introduces their new line of Dream Angel push up bras in New York April 7, 2009. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

Left: A model presents a creation from Teca’s 2010 spring/summer collection during Fashion Rio Show in Rio de Janeiro June 7, 2009. REUTERS/Alex Carvalho

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…and then there’s the earrings…

Posted by Bandage | Report as abusive

If bosoms are “yesterday” that’s where I want to be.To quote Joe Walsh…I like big t*&$.

Posted by Mr Mister | Report as abusive

rob, this was the perfect chance to post the pic of the marriage bra again and you blew it.hang your head in shame my friend.

Posted by chris | Report as abusive

I guess those are ok, if you like silicon clavicles. I prefer them to be 100% Natural.

Posted by Drewbie | Report as abusive

What I can’t stand is that when I start losing weight, my clavicles start to stick out in a bony fashion long before my waistline starts to shrink. It’s annoying looking like a Survivor outcast above the breasts and chunky below them. Good thing the breasts are a distraction.

Posted by Joanna | Report as abusive

joanna, just wear really distracting earrings that dont’ match your outfit and no one will notice your bony clavicles.

Posted by minnow | Report as abusive

Hah… hah. You wrote “ball game.”

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Two words: Grip Tape!

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Must be someone pretty jealous to even notice clavicles. I’m just saying.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Is it mandatory to wear hooky earrings with these clavicles? I mean, is it intentional that the earrings get hooked on the clavicles? Not a bad way to break the ice, though… “Could you please help me unhook my earrings from my clavicles? I looked around too quickly and now I’m stuck. Thanks!”

Posted by M | Report as abusive