Sometimes a news story is so jam-packed with stupidity that it just overflows with creamy stupid goodness.
A teenager goes into a tattoo parlor. She says she wants three stars tattooed on her face, but ends up getting 56, which would be a whole lot more than three.
You’re saying, “Bob, how does something this stupid happen?”
For starters, she FALLS ASLEEP during the procedure, and wakes up as her nose is being tattooed, or so she says. I personally can’t see dozing off while some guy is puncturing my face like a pin-cushion, but maybe that’s just me.
Here’s another thing. The tattoo “artist” says he thought the girl wanted 56 stars.
Kids, a tattoo parlor is a place where you don’t want ANY ambiguity whatsoever.
You know how you always double-check that your surgeon knows how many legs you want amputated, and you always ask which cord to pull to deploy your parachute? Well, it’s just like that.
So now this poor girl has to live with those 56 facial stars the whole time she’s at Harvard, if she goes there. And later in life, say she’s a Supreme Court Justice, she’ll always be “Justice Johnson, the first Supreme Court Justice with 56 stars on her face…”
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Above: Video grab of star tattoo girl
Left: Isobel Varley poses during a tattoo fair in Gijon, Spain, May 15, 2009. Varley, born in 1937, is the most senior tattooed woman in the world according to the Guinness World Records. REUTERS/ Eloy Alonso
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13 comments so far
Wow!… Well… Well I’d say she should have some red and white stripes tattooed down the rest of her body to give it all some meaning but if anyone were to count those stars, there would be some awkward questions.
Can we get another 6 states into the union for this girl? Obama strikes me as the inclusive type and it would be for a good cause…
…and think of the extra tax revenue…
- Posted by Bandage[...] as her nose is being tattooed, or so she says. I personally can’t see dozing off while some guy click for more var gaJsHost = ((”https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : [...]
- Posted by Sorry, I must have dozed… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!![...] Sorry, I must have dozed… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! [...]
- Posted by 56 stars on face | Latest InformationWell, Bandage, it was only a couple hundred years ago we tried knocking off Canada. These days the Brits wouldn’t stand a chance of beating us down. The Royal Army and Navy are but ghosts of their former selves.
Easy, there are the states she needs. And, it’s so much closer than Iraq or Iran or Whereverstan.
- Posted by gwmcIt’s surprisingly not that hard to fall asleep while getting tattooed, I’ve done it once before, but I TRUSTED MY ARTIST and I was very clear about the design, having seen it mimeoed (that purple ink transfer stuff) before it was etched permanently into my skin. How the hell does the word “three” turn into “fifty-six”? Either her artist was just a sleeze that thought it would be funny to tattoo extra stars on her face while she was asleep, or she was really drunk and wasn’t making sense. Either way, she shouldn’t have been able to get that tattoo ANYWAY. That’ll teach her to be stupid, I guess. She could always say she was blessed with a freckle pattern that looks like stars? :\ That face she’s making in the photo is priceless too. hehe
- Posted by Jenisis Rosethis is bullshit! there is no way you could fall asleep while getting your face tattooed… my guess is she wanted it an came home an her father didn’t like it so she lied an said she fell asleep! i work in a tattoo studio with for artist an we have all talked about it… this give us a bad name! i think this situation should be investigated more and find out the truth of what really happened and interview the tattoo artist and see what his story is!
- Posted by kiara littleKiara - you nailed it. I saw another article where the artist said the girl was awake the entire time and even looked in the mirror several times. It wasn’t until she got home and her dad freaked that she said she fell asleep. What a moron. Here’s the link to the tattoo artist’s side: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnew s/article-1193384/What-did-expect-Incred ible-face-revealed-man-tattooed-girl-56- stars-asked-three.html
- Posted by Shelley@ gwmc
…LOL…. ‘Whereverstan’… LOL
*applauds*
- Posted by Bandage[...] back to my regular feature, “Bad Places to Nap.” Like for example the tattoo parlor, as we saw yesterday, or a railroad [...]
- Posted by That Chevy is heavy! | Not So Headline News[...] getting better at them and improving my own journalism skills. Which would probably be on par with getting 56 stars tattooed on your face for “activities to put self to sleep.” Oh wait, you’re not Kimberley Vlaminck? [...]
- Posted by Quad Blogs » Tara’s antics: fake news oneO-neg
N.K.A.
That’s all I want.
- Posted by Shawn Hendricks[...] Oddly Enough » Blog Archive » Sorry, I must have dozed … [...]
- Posted by Drunk Grandmaster Checkmated After Dozing Off - Affairs at the Jupiter HotelI think her face looks fantastic with the stars, she should be really proud of them.
- Posted by Rodger