Wadda Colada! Poke me another coconut, bartender!

June 23, 2009

Blog Guy, I’ve got 54 seconds to waste. Hit me with something bizarre.

Did you already try the Tarzan yell video?

That’s over a minute. I’ve only got 54 seconds.

Everybody’s always in a hurry nowadays! Okay, watch this video of a Malaysian kung fu master as he pierces four coconuts with his finger in just over 30 seconds.

But why would anybody want to do that?

Are you kidding? Can you imagine how fast he can make piña coladas? You watch this amazing 54-second clip and you’ll say, “I’d gladly pay five bucks for a piña colada at that dude’s tropical beach bar!

This is your lucky day! We’re looking for investors right now for  “Wadda Colada!” Are you in? Huh? You wanna be rich?

I used up my 54 seconds just reading this. D’oh!

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Mr Bob,Nuh-uh! I DON’T know if he washes his hands after using the toilet!And I don’t care if he is great at busting coconuts with his fingers! I AM licensed to carry a concealed weapon in this state. And also in the the coresponding states with a like wise carry concealed weapons including cans of wasp spray!Alcohol can kill only so many micro organisms!And if I refuse his pina coladas—beware, Grass Hopper! Glass Hopper! Coconut Hopper!Don’t be poking ME in the eyes, oh Master of Coconut Popping! Even if he does like the Three Stooges as much as I do.A spray in the face can be mightily owwifying!That’s just in case he serves his special pina coladas in another country. Maybe I can’t carry concealed weapons of Bam Bam power in all countries. I can’t see many countries getting mad about me carrying a can of mass destruction for wasps!Even if it IS concealed!Can I go now? The voice in my head says it is time to lay down and take it easy for a couple of hours.Oh, wait. That was my wife.Whatever.

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

The Malaysian is not practicing Kung Fu; He is demonstrating the outcome of the technique applied to an opponents SKULL. You can order pina colada while he doing that your head-off course, MORON.

Posted by Schleek | Report as abusive

Was that response intended for me?Moron???I try to keep my answers to this most excellent blog as cool as can be.With someone that tries to include me in his circle of friends by calling me a moron, like himself…Thanks for the recognition of me being in the same category as yourself, buddy!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

Psst. I’ve got a bowling ball if someone has some green paint.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Last time I busted a nut was tumbling down a flight of stairs.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

The real reason evolution positioned cetacian testes on the inside.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Waiter! My coconut juice tastes like Mrs. Li.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Are you sure coconut #2 wasn’t Phil Spector on court day 11?

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Ah, memories of Mom’s meat loaf.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Yep. That’s pretty much how long it takes me.

Posted by Shawn Hendricks | Report as abusive

Apparently the demo should applied to Numbskulls!

Posted by Schleek | Report as abusive

Or Shawn Hendrickses…how long would it take to poke holes in all of those?

Posted by Mary K | Report as abusive

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