Just leave your parrot outside, sir…

June 26, 2009

Come in and have a seat, Mr. Johnson, and thanks for your application to join our little company.

Let’s see, it says here your last position was in Somalia! Well, that’s quite a long ways away, I guess. Iowa, or someplace?

And what line of work were you in over there? Ah, shipping-related? Interesting.

Your application says you were a freebooter, marauder, plunderer, corsair, brigand, picaroon… Those are all shipping terms, huh? Guess I’ll have to look some of ‘em up.

Says here you’re familiar with a Cutlass. Great! I’m an Oldsmobile man, too.

Now, I should warn you Mr. Johnson, we require our salesmen to actually wear pants on the job, so, you know, don’t be showing up here in your underwear like that.

I think that’ll do it for now, but I’ll need some references at your previous employer. Uh-huh? Dead? ALL of ‘em? Well, I guess we’ll just have to trust you then…

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Model presents creation as part of the Vivienne Westwood Spring/Summer 2010 men’s collection during Milan Fashion Week June 21, 2009. REUTERS/Stefano Rellandini

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11 comments

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Well… I guess when it came to wearing pants, he lost the arrrrrgument…

He obviously lost the arrrgument and the eye because he doesn’t carry a real cutlass. With that wimpy blade he couldn’t hack his way through a wet paper bag.

I just can’t fathom the no pants look. But, the falling down boots? Are these designed to collect debris? Vivienne should stay in Milan.

Posted by gwmc | Report as abusive

Mr Bob,

If you really like to see underwear, swords and an eye patch or two, you should go to a local area Renasissance Faire.

Not only underwear, but plenty of gals wearing belly dancing gear!

And if you watch close enough, you may get your pictures of underwear, also.

I mean plenty of guys wear kilts.

And underwear.

I think that they wear underwear with the kilts.

OK, I am guessing that they wear their underwear, whilst wearing kilts.

Hopefully.

And swords, aplenty!

Oh, and animal tails, also, to keep the fleas off of their bodies!

Swords! And daggers, too! And some of the others carry cudgels, and other assorted weaponry, to boot!

Why? to defend all of their booties, of course!

I am watching for a reprise of what I have seen at a Ren Faire in California about 20 years ago. A couple of gals wearing only chainmail. Without under mail underwear, naturally!

Though I doubt they would belly dance for me, if I caught some young ladies wearing chainmail.

I hear that chainmail chafes on bare skin.

At least on some of the exposed bodies parts, I mean.

Truly, I dost aver, chain mail doth rubbeth the human body raw!

Yea verily!

And I be there, bearing some finely wrouth ointment for such owwies!

Woulds’t I lie?

Aye, I mightest!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

My guess is some fashion designers do just a little too much coke…

This person is self-consciuosly embarrassingly not amusing.
It is adolescent wannabe funny. He should try standup and fail or regularly risk alienating his friends by testing the material on them.

Posted by Rob Carroll | Report as abusive

Ladies and gentlemen, the missing member of the Village People!

Posted by Krista | Report as abusive

Um… WHAT? I guess maybe I am just a little bit old fashioned but I thought the idea of a fashion show was to make people want to buy clothes a designer is making.

That is… well ODD, I will give ya that.

Posted by mortgage Michael | Report as abusive

Is that long white string coming from under his undies? What the heck is that about?

Posted by Tim | Report as abusive

Just more proof that the world is going to hezell in a handbasket!

Posted by Deborah Hart | Report as abusive

But I must admit-this cat does look good from the neck up!

Posted by Deborah Hart | Report as abusive

Yes Deborah, he is a one-eyed monster of love.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive