Just leave your parrot outside, sir…
Come in and have a seat, Mr. Johnson, and thanks for your application to join our little company.
Let’s see, it says here your last position was in Somalia! Well, that’s quite a long ways away, I guess. Iowa, or someplace?
And what line of work were you in over there? Ah, shipping-related? Interesting.
Your application says you were a freebooter, marauder, plunderer, corsair, brigand, picaroon… Those are all shipping terms, huh? Guess I’ll have to look some of ‘em up.
Says here you’re familiar with a Cutlass. Great! I’m an Oldsmobile man, too.
Now, I should warn you Mr. Johnson, we require our salesmen to actually wear pants on the job, so, you know, don’t be showing up here in your underwear like that.
I think that’ll do it for now, but I’ll need some references at your previous employer. Uh-huh? Dead? ALL of ‘em? Well, I guess we’ll just have to trust you then…
Model presents creation as part of the Vivienne Westwood Spring/Summer 2010 men’s collection during Milan Fashion Week June 21, 2009. REUTERS/Stefano Rellandini