Iguana hold your hand…
Blog Guy, I’m attending a huge heavy metal festival in Wacken, Germany, and the officials here have just asked us to avoid “hugging, kissing on the cheek, and shaking hands,” for fear of spreading that H1N1 flu.
Yeah, I hear you. Time to get out the old lizard, dude!
Please, PLEASE tell me “get out the old lizard” is a euphemism for something?
Nope. When I was a kid, back at Woodstock, there wasn’t much kissing either, mostly because we were just too damned ugly. So instead, we all took pet lizards with us. Under the right circumstances, they’re not that bad.
Ewwwwwwww! Stop! Stop!
It’s just like Jimmy Morrison of The Doors used to sing, “I am the lizard king, I can do anything…”
You win, Blog Guy! You are from the 60’s, the BADDEST generation. Here I am, lizardless in Wacken, with nobody to even hold my hand….
Thanks. You know, I could have gone a different direction with an event in a place called Wacken….
Right: Zhao Jing poses with his pet lizard on a street in Wuhan, China, July 29, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer