What could go wrong with a vasectomy?

August 18, 2009

Today we have a video report on a woman who has created something truly remarkable – what she believes to be the world’s biggest scissors.

I think this may be the same person who last year designed a super laser and nearly captured the record for the most laser eye surgeries in under two minutes.

She would have won it, too, had it not been for a few pathetic whiners in the group.

“My eyes! My eyes! Help me!” Oh please, get a spine!

But I digress. Anyway, she’s back now with these huge scissors.

I’m guessing her new goal is to perform the most vasectomies with an unsterilized instrument in under five minutes!

She needs volunteers, so guys, step up and help a worthy cause.

Warning: If you’re one of those wimps who cried about your melting eyeballs last time, then just stay at home with your guide dog.

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Wow!! I can think of a couple of guys I’d like to volunteer for this very important record-breaking trial. They’d probably be easy to operate on, as most are already gutless!!

Posted by M | Report as abusive

Wow … you could make REALLY huge paper snowflakes, out of the world’s largest sheet of paper. Cool …

Posted by Beth | Report as abusive

I believe that somehow this is tied into the new US Health Care program.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

I did undergo a vasectomy operation in the Early 1990’s that was still pretty new at the time performed under General Anesthesia here in Australia.
I was an Australian Government Employee at the time,so didn’t pay for the operation out of my pocket.
The only adverse effect the OP had was a bit of swelling for the week following and still have normal function now apart from being sterile.
I think that the scare tactics used in your Health Campaign are unnecessary and would invoke concern among Gents who would otherwise take up the opportunity if they don’t want any more children.

Posted by Bob Hartley | Report as abusive

Didn’t she create these for when people are cutting the ribbons at openings? You know, gigantic scissors for gigantic ribbons?

That’s what I heard anyway.

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

“What would YOU do with the world’s largest scissors?” Can you rename the blog to this? It’s an interesting piece of news. but totally targeting the wrong crowd with the title. A more suitable title would make this blog interaction more fun. Just my two cents. I guess I was offended by the original title — and irritated by the laser eye comment, too. Sorry!

Posted by NoName | Report as abusive

Sweet Lord, Bob H (not you, Mr Basler (grovel, snivel), do you grasp the slightest concept about this site??!
I’ve been sitting back here ‘down under’ for a while, just reading, without feeling the need to input.
But after taking in your pearl of wisdom, I feel compelled to retort.
This is a place to take the ‘proverbial’ out of life. We don’t need to hear about yours.
I bet your Mum sent you to work in a cardigan every day.

Posted by floppagrunnybarcus | Report as abusive

You have it all wrong. This is a new government requirement to stop people from running with scissors. All future scissors will be made this large.

Posted by Rg | Report as abusive

Haha.. Robert, I am new to this blog and dont have the wits to respond to your clever posts but allow me to confess that I enjoy them very much! Thanks for doing what you do :)

Posted by LCS | Report as abusive

There’s a crass and tacky joke about how they would need scissors that big to give me a vasectomy but I don’t have to do it.

Posted by Priapusman | Report as abusive

Thanks so much for not sharing that with us….

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive