Presenting our new crack unit!
General, I’m proud to give you the first look at our new battlefield attack cycle! It carries five soldiers – three with assault weapons, a lookout on top, and a driver.
This is a rolling death machine that approaches speeds of four miles an hour, downhill. We can produce them for $240,000 each. I know that sounds high, General, but most of it goes to buy life insurance for the lookout guy.
Now, the three shooters are able to spray a bullet pattern of….
What, General? How does the driver see through all those billowing trousers to steer? Hmm. Uh, I guess we’ll need to work on that.
Well yes, General, I think it might work to have the shooters wear no pants of any kind, so the driver could kind of look around their bare butts to navigate…
That is a great idea, General, plus it solves another problem. Suddenly, the lookout no longer has the worst job on the motorcycle.
Motorcyclists from the Kashmir Police perform during Independence Day celebrations in Srinagar, August 15,2009. REUTERS/ Danish Ismail