Flossing, brushing threaten false teeth sales…
Please don’t let me be the only one who thinks this is ironic.
I’m reading financial stories this week, and suddenly I see this headline: “Credit limits, self-discipline threaten holiday sales.” Did I wander onto The Onion site?
I swear I’m not making this up. Damn you, self-discipline! Damn you, credit limits!
Like I guess nobody recalls 2009, when four billion Americans lost their homes, and you needed major clout just to get to the front of the long lines to declare bankruptcy.
Still, if this is the Orwellian logic we’re using now, I’m ready to play:
- “Narcotics enforcement, rehab programs threaten crack sales.”
- “Humane education, shelter adoptions threaten puppy mills”
- “Better nutrition, exercise threaten obesity reality shows”
Hey, this is kind of fun! Let’s see. Journalistic legwork, smart digging threaten shallow blogs…
Left: Cast member Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy pose during a photocall to promote movie “A Christmas Carol” at the Cannes Film Festival, May 18, 2009. REUTERS/ Jean-Paul Pelissier