Flossing, brushing threaten false teeth sales…

October 1, 2009

Please don’t let me be the only one who thinks this is ironic.

I’m reading financial stories this week, and suddenly I see this headline: “Credit limits, self-discipline threaten holiday sales.” Did I wander onto The Onion site?

I swear I’m not making this up. Damn you, self-discipline! Damn you, credit limits!

Like I guess nobody recalls 2009, when four billion Americans lost their homes, and you needed major clout just to get to the front of the long lines to declare bankruptcy.

Still, if this is the Orwellian logic we’re using now, I’m ready to play:

  • “Narcotics enforcement, rehab programs threaten crack sales.”
  • “Humane education, shelter adoptions threaten puppy mills”
  • “Better nutrition, exercise threaten obesity reality shows”

Hey, this is kind of fun! Let’s see. Journalistic legwork, smart digging threaten shallow blogs…

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Above: Man wearing Santa Claus suit enjoys a meal outside a church during ‘The Festival of Homeless People’ in Berlin in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Tobias Schwarz

Left: Cast member Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy pose during a photocall to promote movie “A Christmas Carol” at the Cannes Film Festival, May 18, 2009. REUTERS/ Jean-Paul Pelissier

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11 comments

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Tort reform threatens lavish lifestyle of slimy lawyers.

Posted by T | Report as abusive

G20 Summit whiplash threatens bonuses of greedy bosses…wait. I think I read that somewhere… well, all fair in game and game… :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Nice post…There must be a trillion blogs in the world and all of them post news, that are true or just made up…There must be a lot of more of those arround here somewhere…Cheers,Caracoleta Francesahttp://www.caracoletafrancesa.bl ogspot.com – venda de caracois e caracoletas

‘Safe and considerate driving habits threaten municipal revenues’

Ethical politicians, consciences threaten pork-barrel spending policies.Good taste, common sense threaten existence of Hollywood.This is fun!

Posted by Dave | Report as abusive

Yes it is, isn’t it, Dave! Get your friends to play! I’m not saying we can top “Credit limits, self-discipline threaten holiday sales,” but we can sure give it a shot!

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

I take umbrage at that first comment! UMBRAGE I tell you!It’s not slime, it’s oil…

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

College education threatens McDonald’s hiring…

Posted by Brian | Report as abusive

4 billion homes huh? That must have been quite a mortgage crisis!

Posted by scott miller | Report as abusive

Hmmm.When did the Mayans say we are going down? I really am looking forward to it more and more.

Bob Basler’s blogs threaten rationalising current issues.. :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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