Honey, will you marry me?

November 13, 2009

Okay fashion staff, welcome to the future. This is our first test of a bold and radical new process for designing women’s clothing.

As you know, we fed tons of raw data about MEN into a massive new software program, and told the computer to design the perfect creation to appeal to the largest possible number of males.

We fed in detailed data on age, income, location, politics, religion, marital status, hobbies, personal values – you name it – and then punched the big red “CREATE” button.

After three crashes and reboots, here’s the first thing the computer gave us: a trashy-looking floozy with a cheap bleach job, wearing a short dress with several hundred beer bottles hanging from it.

YES! The rest is history – we’ve pre-sold 20 million of these dresses through this blog, and we haven’t even started making them yet! Is life great, or what?

Lamar, how are you coming with the prototype of that second item, the Swiss Cheese and Lunch Meat Blouse?

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A model presents a creation by Portuguese designer Vitor during the Lisbon Fashion Week in Cascais October 10, 2009. Reuters/Hugo Correia

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8 comments

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99 bottles of beer on the dress, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around … oooh baby!

Posted by CAM | Report as abusive

I prefer those German girls with big jugs to the little bottles of the Portuguese.

Posted by JD | Report as abusive

They just dont STOP creating, do they??

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Funny my anti-spam word is Toast! How appropriate!

I was thinking of OD-ing on my Prozac and Lithium after your Kalashnikov post, but this one has rekindled my hopes in humanity! At least, in my own!! Yes, thank you, Robert, you’ve made my week-end a lot better!

Posted by M | Report as abusive

Hmmmm, I wonder what “bottoms up” would look like?

Stocking up on enough Xanax for all…

Posted by Dave | Report as abusive

I think I need to cut down on my meds… time to “sober up”..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by rbasler: Honey, will you marry me? http://bit.ly/1tYQJx…

how convenient

no need to walk up to the bar; she’ll bring it to you

too bad her body heat would warm the beer

Posted by Name | Report as abusive

Honey, I’m putting on some weight. Could you wear your light beer dress tonight?

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive