Ned’s dead, where’s his head?

November 16, 2009

Blog Guy, you blogged several times about the missing skull of German writer Friedrich Schiller. I see there’s another famous missing skull now, belonging to Australian outlaw Ned Kelly.

Right. Ned, whose real name was Ed, was the son of Red. Ned was a bushranger and killer, whose gang wore body armor that made them nearly unstoppable.

Wow. What’s a bushranger?

It’s Australian for what we would call a big fat dumbass. Ned and his gang were finally stopped in an 1880 shootout at an Australian inn, I guess sort of like an Outback Steakhouse or something.

Ned was captured and hanged. His skull was stolen, but now it may have been found.

Do you think this really is his skull?

Probably. If you look closely at the video screen grab above, you can see “E. Kelly” carved in the skull. I can’t see anybody else doing something that painful to himself.

Geez, Blog Guy, couldn’t ANYBODY have just carved that into this skull, ANYTIME?

Hmm. I hadn’t thought of that! I like it, because it makes room for my own personal pet theory.

Which is?

This is really the skull of  Friedrich Schiller.

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Body armor of Ned Kelly, on display at the State Library of Victoria in Melbourne, March 13, 2008. REUTERS/Mick Tsikas

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Was Ned’s skull found near Mt. Isa? That would explain a lot.

Blog Guy … you’ve upped your skull skill score sufficiently once again!

Posted by CAM | Report as abusive

That’s a brilliant observation, CAM. Maybe he killed himself when his blind date showed up. Or maybe he made her wear the armor.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Make way, Ned’s head’s coming
A bushranger from Down Under!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Do you know how he was actually killed? He didn’t have armour on his legs, and in the shootout he got shot in the legs multiple times and bled to death. Yeah, kids in Australia get taught about that in primary school. I think I was 7 when I first heard the story.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but as a bushranger residing in Victoria (the mainland’s southernmost state), it is highly unlikely that his skull would have been found near Mt Isa, which is about as far north and west as you can go in Queensland before the roads become dirt and everyone you see calls you ‘mate’ and uses the F word in every sentence.

So I’m not sure that your theory would hold. Although, I do know a couple of women from Mt Isa who would really appreciate a good set of armour.

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

Bled to death? That doesn’t mesh with the numerous historical records of his hanging, down to his last words, visits from his family, etc. It happened at Melbourne Gaol, which I believe they spelled that way so sympathizers looking to rescue him wouldn’t know it was really a jail.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Well, sure, that’s the HISTORICAL version. But in my version he tragically bled to death and his brother Ted Kelly was mistaken for Ned and was tried and hanged and all that jazz.

Okay, you got me. My recollection of second grade history might be a little fuzzy. My apologies. I don’t expect you’ll hold it against me. I mean, you guys did elect Bush to the White House. Twice.

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

Actually, my favourite part is how everyone thinks it has to be his skull because it has his name on it. As a result, I have decided to put myself on the waiting list for skull engraving surgery in the event of my untimely death and theft of my skull from my grave.

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

You’d better think this through, LMR. Somebody steals your skull, but it just says RANDOM on it, and then some sicko goes on the black market looking for “a random skull,” and one thing leads to another….

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Basler, I think you should start using the medds we sent ya…
LMR, you are just fine!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I’m looking at that armor, was he known as Ned “Pinhead” Kelly?

Posted by Dave | Report as abusive

He was actually Edward “Ned” Kelly.

That armour weighs like 44kg! It can’t be that small!

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

[…] used to vow that nobody would EVER learn anything here, but suddenly we’re finding out about Ned Kelly, Kalashnikov Rifles… Plus, words like “plethora” and “duvet” are […]

Posted by What’s gone wrong with this blog? | | Report as abusive