Want some kaBob? Some kaDave?

November 16, 2009

Blog Guy, I’m planning a trip to Russia soon and as a hotshot travel writer you know a lot about different cuisines. So like, in Moscow, is there anything I should avoid?

It all depends on your taste, but for the time being I’d steer clear of cheap kebab places.

Gosh, if you can’t trust a cheap kebab house in Moscow, what CAN you trust? Any special reason to avoid them?

Only that Russian police have arrested three homeless people suspected of eating a 25-year-old man they had butchered, and selling other bits of the corpse to a local kebab house.

Oh. But apart from that, no there’s no other problem with kebab houses there?

Uh, not apart from that human meat aspect, no.  Knock yourself out.

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Above: Russian President Dmitry Medvedev (C) shares food with Cuban leader Raul Castro (L) in the official residence Zavidovo outside Moscow January 29, 2009. Medvedev hosted Castro with kebabs, salted wild boar’s fat and vodka. REUTERS/Alexander Zemlianichenko/Pool

Below: A worker cuts meat from a spit in a Kebab restaurant in Dortmund, Germany, in a 2006 file photo. REUTERS/Ina Fassbender

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15 comments

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Imma let you finish, but Beyonce has the best human flesh kebabs ever!

Posted by K. West | Report as abusive

You really know how to run a joke into the ground. I like that in a humor writer…. It’s a technique I use myself.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

I wonder which bits they ate and which they sold to the kebab shop. Do you think they ate the ‘good’ bits for themselves and then sold the ‘bad’ bits to the kebab place?

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

It’s a shame when you can lose your identity through cannibalism.

It worse when you have an identity which you have stolen taken from you.

Posted by Catherine Zeta-Jones | Report as abusive

Yes, LMR, that’s what I think. Cripes, I can’t get those meds to you fast enough….

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Hey wait a minute! How come the dead guy has to be named Dave? Why couldn’t his name be Fred, Ned, James, or even Robert? Eh? I never would have thought you would stoop to Dave-scrimination, Blog Guy.

Sorry, I’ll go back on my meds now.

Posted by Dave | Report as abusive

By the looks of the title, i guess Dave is “meat”! :P
Dont expect to hear from him….
LMR… what did ya mean by “good” parts?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well, LMR, kebab does need to be rather greasy, so I guess you’re probably right… in any case, I wonder how the kebab place sold that meat. What is sure is from now on I am asking very carefully what meat goes into my ‘mixed’ kebab!

Posted by M | Report as abusive

Dave i thiught you were “toast”!!!
M, do you get your kebabs from Russia?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, in fact I get my kebabs from very respectable street vendors, unknown in name and origin. Nevertheless, given this practice sounds like the kind of cost-cutting (pun not intended) measure that could be implemented elsewhere, I think I’ll stick to prudence for the time being.

In any case, it could just be my dosage has slipped a bit, so don’t mind me too much… Nurse!!!

Posted by M | Report as abusive

I’m not eating people kebabs unless they are halal!!!

Posted by R | Report as abusive

There is a kebab shop right around the corner from my apartment… Maybe I should go and check whats “cooking”?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

What’s cooking – good looking?

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

No, the kebab guy aint good looking… :(

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive