I can never play soccer again!

November 23, 2009

Blog Guy, I know all contact sports have risks. Boxing, football, fencing, they can all take their toll. Is there any threat that is especially common to soccer players?

Absolutely. There is the tragedy of soccer blindness, as seen here in these terrifying photos. It afflicts hundreds of players every year, usually during an actual game.

Is it curable?

Yes, the player’s sight usually returns after someone leads him to the shower.

Blog Guy, I don’t want to second-guess your obvious expertise here, but it just looks like this guy’s shirt rode up on his face, and covered his eyes. I mean, it looks that simple.

You know nothing about it. For instance, in addition to loss of sight, the player in these photos complained of lack of smell and an “unusual tightness” across his cheeks.

He also suffered arm and wrist injuries trying to get into the locker room.

I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Are they researching this cursed condition?

Yes, and I’m sure they’ll set up a charity soon. Please give generously. This athlete has suffered enough.

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Getafe’s Francisco Javier Casquero celebrates a goal against Espanyol during their Spanish first division soccer match at Cornella-El Prat stadium, near Barcelona, November 22, 2009. REUTERS/Albert Gea

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Oh no! Is it deadly? Does he need the kiss of life? Because I’d be willing to give it to him? What do you mean he’s breathing just fine? No, no, he definitely needs my lips on his…

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

Sigh. LMR, the game is in Mount Isa. You figure out the problem.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Hey Basler – what’s with the sigh? Am I lowering the tone of your high-brow publication or something?

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

No, LMR! You’re the glue that holds us together! We need you!

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

He definitely needs mouth-to-mouth… drooooool… 😛

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Actually, I have suffered from this illness in the past, and must say it is rather distressing. Nevertheless, the condition is quite temporary, fortunately.LMR, I am sure the guy in the picture would not mind you trying to help him with the condition. And given your propensity to biting, I’d say that is something he probably wouldn’t much mind either…

Posted by M | Report as abusive

Robert any chance if I forward you a picture like the one above you can post it for me so that LMR can give me mouth to mouth.lolP.S Very good blog, laughed my ass off at it

Posted by braidsy | Report as abusive

And yet nobody mentioned the El-Prat Stadium….

Posted by naz | Report as abusive

Well, will ya look at that. I’m getting fanmail on your blog, Blog Guy!

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive

Well, well, well… you sure are, LMR!! Braidsy, make sure you send a good pic… if you need ideas, check out the Pakistani model blog… send something similar to the pic of the guy with the criss cross outfit… 😉

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

shra I just checked out that blog and I have that exact outift at home although I have more breast showing.lol

Posted by braidsy | Report as abusive

LMR, i think it is time you came out from under the table.. :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

What’s with the double standard here?This guy is skin-and-bones.The girls in the Victoria Secret pictures, according to Shra, “must weigh like what, 45 lbs?…I can see her bones!!”At least the ab-shot guy from Caracas has some meat on his bones.

Posted by Bill | Report as abusive

Not skin and bones Bill, sinew and tendons. There’s a difference.

Posted by Little Miss Random | Report as abusive