Hi, I’m your hamburger helper…

December 3, 2009

Readers know I blog a lot about bullfighting, because, well, it’s a very easy target that ridicules itself with very little help from me.

Defenders of the “sport” then send comments telling me how very brave the bullfighters are, staring death in the face and so on.

Stupid me, I always thought they meant death from the bull, until I started taking a look at the “assistants” these guys have.

Check out these yokel matador assistants above, struggling with their outfits in a photo from a couple of days ago.

Is it me, or does that one guy look like Ralph Kramden?  “Alice, I’m goin’ to the Raccoon Dance as a matador, and that’s final!”

And catch the assistant bullfighter in the next shot, tripping at a pretty embarrassing moment.

Or the assorted assistants in the combo shot at the left.

I wouldn’t want these guys to have my back in a Pictionary game, much less a bullfight. That goes triple for the one in the Napoleon hat.

Seeing them is enough to almost – but not quite – make me feel some sympathy for the matadors.

I still root for the bulls, of course. As far as I can tell, they get no assistants at all, not even these goofballs.

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Above: Matadors’ assistants prepare before a bullfight at the Plaza de Acho in Lima November 29, 2009. REUTERS/Enrique Castro-Mendivil

Right: An assistant bullfighter trips during San Isidro’s bullfighting fair in Madrid, in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Susana Vera

Combo: Assorted assistant shots. REUTERS photos

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We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see http://blogs.reuters.com/fulldisclosure/2010/09/27/toward-a-more-thoughtful-conversation-on-stories/

Blog Guy,You might want to add ‘fashion’ to the Tags. These outfits could indubitably compete with any other fashion pics you’ve posted.Tip o’ the hat to LMR for plethora! :-)

Posted by CAM | Report as abusive

What gratuitous nonsense you spout. I presume you are American. Why don’t you put up some funny-looking pictures of cowboys or lumberjacks or hog chasing hillbillies so we can all laugh at them too.

Posted by SpanishBill | Report as abusive

I’m fresh out of hog-chasing hillbilly photos. Besides, for stupid-looking, you just cant top bullfighters.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Yeah, let’s laugh at these here different people coz they are funny looking. I’m sure Reuters really wants to be associated with such xenophobia. Hey, while you are at it, maybe there’s comedy value with pictures of funny looking Hassidic Jews, Masai warriors and Mexicans.

Posted by SpanishBill | Report as abusive

Spanishbill-It is called “oddly enough”It is also called -“humour”I am sad for youPlease to Troll elsewhere

Posted by dorothygale | Report as abusive

@SpanishBillWhat do these pictures have to do with Xena, Warrior Princess??

Posted by JD | Report as abusive

The first photo is a great shot of a bull fighter, sucking on his combination bolero jacket/security blanket.The next photo is of a bull that graciously decided to clean the pavement while graciously waiting for his buddy to pick up his secondary security blanket.Next up is the shot of the bull fighter that couldn’t fight bulls.The next photo is a bull fighter that wants to make a nice cigarette commercials, so he is in a nice practice profile shot.The shot of the bull fighter that thinks he is Napoleon Bonaparte is quite obvious.And the last photo op is a showing that even bull fighters cry.Do I have to explain everything for you, Bob?

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

I am sad to see that you have picked on hog chasing hillbillies.We have graduated from chasing our sisters, but yet you have decided to include us with those guys with security blankets and sharp objects.We are people, too!Unlike the animatronic bull fighters.Now, I must sojourn, with the last of the Sears Roebuck catalogs that we have stored, to the outhouse.Let this be a lesson to you!

Posted by tim | Report as abusive

I hadn’t thought about that, Tim. I guess using the Sears Website just isn’t the same, is it? Besides, laptop makers advise against using them in that manner.

Posted by Robert Basler | Report as abusive

Blog guy, do you know where can I get some of those tea towels? I’m looking for an upgrade on my old map of Australia, Ned Kelly and plain old chequered ones, and these guys seem to have the in thing.

Also BG – I love that I get to see your photo and profile every time I come read your blog. Anonymity be damned – we know what you look like!

Posted by LMR | Report as abusive

I love that Napolean Bonaparte hat… awesome!!!
And LMR, Bob cant hide his age no more.. he he he he…. :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive