Who’s that leeched blonde over there?
Blog Guy, you’re an expert at fashion and beauty advice. I really need help attracting men. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m an attractive blue-eyed blonde, I accessorize tastefully, I…
Let me stop you there for a minute, honey. There’s a freaking worm crawling across your face!
Worm? Oh no, that’s just a leech! He doesn’t suck as much blood as you might think. I always have one on me when I go to singles bars. You know, as kind of an ice-breaker.
Yeah? How’s that working for you so far?
Well, I did think it’s curious that so many men seem to use “Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!” as a pick-up line when they approach me.
I have to be honest with you. Some men might be turned off by the sight of a leech sliming its way around your nose.
Blog Guy, you’re BRILLIANT! I TOTALLY get what you’re saying! They’re bothered because I only have ONE leech there! So I should take some of the other leeches off of my arms and legs, and put THEM on my face, too!
Uh, right. That’s what I’m saying. Listen, write back if you get lucky, Leech Lady….
An employee of the International Medical Leech Centre demonstrates with a leech on her face in the village of Udelnaya, Russia, December 4, 2009. The leech farm makes a tidy profit shipping them to doctors worldwide. REUTERS photos by Denis Sinyakov